*

one more day

2012-02-10T09:49:00.000-06:00

Written on Jan. 3rd....
i was just looking through post in "draft" and ran across this...

....................................................................................................................................................................
i was lucky enough to take a long extended vacation from work
having all this time to be home and spending it with my family
was something that i needed
i had alot in mind to accomplish and do over the pass 2 weeks
but as i sit here in bed, @ 8:36am on Tuesday, i realize i haven't really accomplished any of it
i have accomplished lots of play time with paint, barbies, playdoh, singing and dancing

while my hallway still sits unpainted
and there are still bags that need to be dropped off at goodwill
baseboards that desperately need to be washed
i can't help but believe that i have accomplished
and done everything that i needed to do over this break
which was to just be mom and take in all the moments
i could while the boys were here
listening and watching all that kennedy does
learning more about her growing personality

my house will always need cleaning
something will always need to be repaired
those things aren't going away
but the days and minutes that i have to take in a conversation with a 2 year old
or 13 year old
and even my very soon to be 18year old step son
those moments do pass by and i can not get those moments back

i have thought and thought about resolutions for the past week
while i have many things that i want to accomplish
one thing is sitting heavy on my heart that i really want to work on and accomplish
and i know one person in particular will really appreciate this resolution

so now, since i about to make known to the blog world and be held accountable
i, in 2012, want to learn to be a better listener
i'm going to be honest
i don't know how to do it
i love to engage in conversation and i always have something to say
but i feel like there has been alot i haven't heard
because i haven't really heard what has been shared with me

the biggest part that i will have to learn in my resolution
is to slow down
if i slow down then i can hear what is being said to me
not just the surface talk
but i can hear what is trying to be shared or opened to me

i know myself, and i know this will be a struggle...but i also know that if this is something
that i need and something that i ask God to help me with
then it will be accomplished

so cheers to a new year
new resolutions
and for me to listen!

blessings,
jennifer

wednesday thought

2012-02-09T09:25:00.000-06:00

a friend of mine

whom i just happen to be lucky enough to work with

has a a daily calendar with some of the best thoughts and quotes

i love the fact that our minds are typically in the same place so she will share these with me

this morning she brought me one that hit the nail on the head

it's something that has been a struggle for me
a struggle that i realize and one that i am working on
one topic that is actually in a draft discussion just waiting to be posted

here's the daily thought
"when our mood is high, rather than beleiveing that others
are doing better than we are, or even spending energy comparing ourselves to them,
we realize that we are all on different paths,
doing the best we can. instead of complaining that making money is hard work,

we get a kick out of the entire process and see new ways to

create abundance for ourselves and others"

new year beginning in february

2012-02-03T21:06:00.000-06:00

i'm late
nothing new there
i decided not to even go back and recap all the past moments
that have been memorable, fun and even stressful
but starting today, february 1st
i will start my new of blogging

nothing new and exciting
probably more boring than anything
because i want to use it more to capture
with documentation of kennedy and all the fun and not so fun things that happen
life is so busy that i do not want to forget
nor overlook anything
so even if i have to place a title and just a picture as a post
then so be it

while i will not recap everything since christmas
i will just post a few memorable event pictures of the past 2 months, ok?

blessings,
jennifer

cookies with nana

2011-12-20T21:14:00.000-06:00

a few weeks ago we spent a friday evening at nana's
it consisted of lots of sugar, flour, icing, sprinkles
it was a a little bit of chaos
mixed with 3 kiddos
3 adults
in an old 1965 ranch style kitchen
at one point i told my sister we actually move around each other really good in this kitchen
i felt like i was on food network
yelling "behind ya"..."oven open"

lots of belly laughs
mixed with the occassional fall
to which i will not even begin to disclose on this blog
but will forever hold that sight and those laughs within my heart for years to come

i'm one lucky girl to have the mom and sister that i have
to share all these times with and make the memories i am able to make with kennedy

the pictures tell more than my words can
i failed to bring my good camera...again
so the little point and shoot will have to do

get in the kitchen and make some memories with the ones you love
trust me...you will have so much fun you won't even notice the mess being made

happy baking,
jen

memories of christmas decor

2011-12-10T07:29:00.000-06:00

there are so many things that i remember as a child at christmas

i truly believe christmas memories are ones that are held onto for life

we may not remember everything about starting kindergarten

but i can guarantee you can remember what the man with the red coat brought you

i remember, as if it were yesterday, that i never slept on christmas eve

and i mean i never shut my eyes

i've always been one that can not concentrate or relax when i am excited for something

still to this day if something big or exciting is approaching

i get all worked up and anxious, in a good way

thinking back on it

santa must have waited a really long time before he came to our house

hoping that i would be asleep

poor santa, i bet you were really tired staying up so late

this year as i put out christmas decorations

there are certain things that i love about decorations

certain ornaments or displays that bring such joy to me

and memories that are refreshed in my mind as soon as i see them

my mother has 3 particular christmas decorations

that i absolutely loved when she brought them out

i recently called to ask my mother is she still had

some of the items that stand out in my mind as a child

as i was told mice in the attic may have gotten the best of mrs. clause

i still held onto hope that the lighted christmas tree may be found

with some determination hunting around the house

i've already placed a few of the items

just in case they are not located

and i will continue to be on the hunt throughout the year for the bottle brush trees

at garage sales, flea markets, antique stores

i want to have things that my daughter will

be able to call me about one day to ask if i still have

i want to be able to hand her a piece of her childhood to share with her children

we have this old faded santa clause that hands in the bay window of our kitchen

it is number one to twenty-five

each day of december a reindeer is placed in that day

until you have made the journey to christmas day

my thirteen year old step son, still to this day will move the reindeer to the correct spot

i debated even putting the thing up this year

the red is faded to a rosy color

otis obviously got a hold of the reindeer at one point

but it's a tradition

if santa's mice did get a hold of mrs clause and her apron to hold our candy canes
i know where to find her
it may not be my mother's but i can be sure to make it a tradition
and a special memory in our home

blessings from my memories to yours,
jennifer

generations

2011-12-07T18:30:00.001-06:00

for weeks i have planned to take all the women close to me
to the annual showing of the rockettes
sitting in amazement as these beautiful girls are
in complete sync with one another
knowing the discipline that it has taken to dance on this level
to have this physique of a dancer
it's incredible

each year i have taken my mother, my sister, my grandmother and sister in law
this year my sister in law happen to be in alabama with her family
i debated on taking kennedy
is she too young? will she sit still?
8:00pm showing is 30 minutes shy of her routine bedtime

i got her a ticket just in case
one evening she ran into the kitchen
yelling for me to look
i looked at the tv and saw the commercial for the Music City Rockettes
that was all i needed to convince me to take her

from that moment until last night we have heard
"when we go to rockettes"
watching her hold a chair and swing her leg
explaining to us that she was indeed a "rockette"
what made it even more special was to be able to take my 91 year old grandmother
who just a year ago we didn't think would make it out of the hospital

this woman is a pistol
sharp as a knife
guarantee that she will always smell of Chanel Coco perfume
lips will be stained with a soft lipstick
heels...not high heels but heels
and stylin in the some duds that are so not a 91 year old grandma
i love her so much
and i hope that i can be even an ounce of everything that she is

seeing the excitement of my little girl along with the excitement of a much more mature woman
i probably missed some of the show from watching the faces of kennedy and my grandma

while i can't put into words how much i enjoyed last night
or how excited i was
or even how amazing these girls called rockettes are
i do know how thankful i am that i had, once again, the opportunity to take them
and make this memory is such a blessing

if you haven't been
i highly suggest you take the time to go
it will definitely put you even more in the christmas spirit

happy holidays
merry christmas

blessings,
jennifer

things missing

2011-12-02T09:15:00.000-06:00

i disappeared for a month
while i continually thought about topics for the blog
and have hundreds of pictures that can be shared
i never took the few minutes to collect thoughts and type them out
strangely, i have felt the effects of it too

this little blog is my outlet
and i have realized that this blog along with my prayers
clears all the jumbled thoughts and worries i have
i was also reminded over the thanksgiving holiday
how much kennedy will appreciate having this to look back on one day

so as i jump back in feet first
be warned that pictures may not actually go along with the post
(i haven't even put anything up with kennedy's adorable angelina ballerina costume or zach's freddy cruder mask)
things may even be a bit jumbled and hard to follow
as i play catch up and try to release some built up thoughts that
are a constant in my mind
all while making the most and enjoying the holidays

here we go...

blessings,
jennifer

shackles

2011-10-23T06:00:00.004-05:00

the video at the end of this blog
has a song that i just love
i love the beat
turning it up in the car and just singing with kennedy

the other morning when it came on
i didn't turn it up quite so loud
my lips stayed closed
and i listened more intently to the words and thought about the "removal of shackles"

i thought about what shackles i have
what keeps me from sharing my joyous things that God has blessed me with
sharing the triumphs of the things HE has brought me through

i immediately thought about my mother
whom i know she will disagree
but to me has no shackles, or at least any i can notice
from as long back as my mind will allow me to remember
my mother has seldom let a chance slip that she didn't mention
Jesus' name to someone
that she didn't invite someone to church
or times that she didn't tell someone she would pray for them
and if she said she would pray for you
consider it done
and the thing is she is so subtle and quiet with such a powerful impact

so i will keep it very real and honest
it use to embarrass me growing up, even going to a private christian school
i would think, "mom, just don't get all bible on them"
it hasn't been until i have had a home of children
been blessed to be a mother
and of course become a little older and somewhat wiser
that i realize what a blessing it was to have a mother that didn't have those shackles

i know in this day of age everyone is so worried about offending someone
but isn't that just another tactic that is used by the ultimate liar of the world?

i have realized in most of the blogs that i read and/or follow
that there isn't a post that goes by that HE is not lifted or praised
they use their blog, whether they realize it or not, to reach others
by sharing even the smallest of HIS WORD to others
while i will probably leave this post in draft for weeks
worried about what someone will say or think
my mind travels to all the things in my life that i shouldn't have done
or things i shouldn't have said
that people know about
which just reminds me of how much i fail everyday in the way i live

i really want to work on
praying that my shackles are removed and i can move as freely as they mention in this sound
maybe i'm the only one that feels this way
and i promise i'm not trying to be a downer
i'm really happy and feel blessed
and know great things are happening
i just don't want to be that person that doesn't share any of it

we are quit to complain and talk about all that is wrong
but are slow to praise HIM for our blessings
recoveries
answered prayers

so here's to sharing more blessings and answered prayers

blessings,
jennifer

flour, sugar and sprinkles OH MY

2011-10-22T15:05:00.000-05:00

i have fun doing anything with kennedy
seriously, brushing teeth is fun with that kid
she is at the age where her personality just is jumping out at the seams
and i honestly never quite know what is going to come out of that mouth

saturday morning as i was preparing to gather things for dinner that night
i ran across all of my "fall" sprinkles
found some sugar cookie mix
pulled out all the fall/halloween cookie cutters
thinking - i'll give this a shot
convinced i would do this alone and the cookies would be stale
i didn't have frosting
so to google i went
and what i came up with was something just fabulous

t, kennedy and i sat down for dinner
she wasn't too keen on eating alot of chili (like she normally does)
since she is working on allergies or a cold
but once i mentioned "cookies"
she came to life

no need to go step by step of the events
but this little girl provided me with so much fun and laughter
i didn't care how much flour was over the place or on me
at one point she sat down to wipe off the sprinkles off her feet because our kitchen floor was covered
she was very adamant about using the cookie cutters and knew all of the shapes/animals
and i might add that she rocked out the apron

each sprinkle was placed in the exact spot she wanted
and she gave great concentration to this part of the decorating
once the cookies were ready to try
she was completely more interested in the frosting we had made

i know it sounds silly
but i laid down that night thanking the lord for allowing us to have that time to make cookies
for slowing me down
for removing the OCD in me to keep the kitchen clean while i cook
to see the eagerness in my daughter to be involved and learn
to just be a kid
experiencing the great joys of motherhood

as i plopped her straight in the tub
i told t
"i always have fun with her...but that is the most fun i've had with her so far"
i could hear t quietly as we made the cookies
and watched his eyes as i let flour soar in the air
frosting and sprinkles cover our clothes and hair
the messier the better, right?

i can not wait for more adventures in the kitchen with her
this is sure to be a time for some major mommy/daughter bonding
*cheaper than shoe shopping bonding) which we still do

until the next batter of cookies
we send you blessings,
jennifer

reminded

2011-10-06T06:00:00.001-05:00

there is a blog (check out paige ) i read daily that inspires me
to be the best mom i can be
to make things special for each event or accomplishment
inspires me to be close and have respect for kids
it makes me long for a closer relationship with teenagers

it seems like lately i find myself reminding T
along with reminding myself
that we, once too, were teenagers
i, too, was probably never home (or wanted to be)
but found myself often nestled in the home of my best girl friends
when i was with my family or parents
i was rushing to do whatever it was they had planned
so i could get out with my friends

i was always trying to think of a way to get out of the family things

or finding a way to incorporate my friends into the family things

as i try to remember this stage
and that is exactly what it is, a stage

i can't help but desire more

i wouldn't trade anything for the marriage and family i have

it has taught me more about God's union of marriage

and how sacred it is

how it is a union blessed by God that should be not be forsaken
i understand more clearly the obstacles of when a marriage is broken
i feel the often pain and pressures everyday of it's outcome

it's hard to feel connected to your child's friends and their parents
when you aren't in the same community
you don't run into them at the grocery
or see them at the bank, post office, ect.
you are completely out of the loop on any gossip surrounding the other kids and events

so when you do get time with your "teenager" to connect
to hear about what is going on
with efforts of trying to be involved
you are in a constant battle with the other person on the receiving end of the text messages
you're repeating yourself
asking the same questions because a text was coming in
or being responded too

i try my best to remember how i was as a teenager
while i didn't have texting
i did have phone glued to my ear
and i'm still in debate what is worse

i'm also reminded that as i was into my first year of college
and really HAD to grow up
because i had to fend alot for myself while away at school
i longed for time with my family
i loved the conversations that i had around the dinner table
the break from friends and coming home to something that was comfortable
where i could be me

as i watched kennedy snuggled up beside Z this weekend
sharing crackers and cheese
reading books to one another
i wanted the moment to freeze
shortly, even as the next morning came
the sound of a 2 year old girl
repeating her brother's names wouldn't be as sweet to them as the evening before
her wanting to play with them wouldn't be as interesting
i've learned to take it as it comes

i've ~~learned~~ learning teenage hormones and the up's and downs
i'm taking the time i get and trying to make the most
giving space and friends/freedom when it's needed
but still desiring for them to have the desire to be all about family
(i can keep dreaming, right?)

i know in a few short months
a child that entered my life 10 years ago
will legally be an adult
but still just a child
that will always need his father and mother
and will have a stepmother and stepfather that is always willing to be there
parents that will let him go when he wants to
but will always be there waiting when they need to come home

and whoever said babies/toddlers were hard

obviously hasn't had adventures with teenagers yet

but worth every minute of it

blessings,

jennifer

push through...anyway

2011-10-05T12:00:00.001-05:00

i felt completely defeated this morning

i felt like satan was winning

and i should just give up and quit trying

i wanted to sit in the floor and just cry/scream

act like a child and throw a fit

but as i looked at my sleeping daughter

who is so innocent

and has nothing to worry about other than what toy to play with at the moment

God quickly showed me through her peaceful resting body

that i have to continue to push forward and do the right thing

i'm so thankful the past few sermons and Sunday School lessons

have been on topics that are about living God's will for your life

and how we make doing the right thing much more difficult than it should be

all of those sermons and lessons flashed in my head this morning

i quickly dried my tears

put on my armour of God

woke up my precious angel

and began to tackle the day

it's unfortunate that people

and family will hurt you

it's unfortunate that there are so many people in this life

that are selfish with themselves and their time

it's unfortunate the blessings that people miss out on by just doing the right thing

as i was listening to the fish this morning

this song came on

one i'm sure we have all heard on many stations of the radio

and i just quietly said to myself

"thank you Lord"

i will keep pushing through

with HIS help i will continue to try and do the right thing reaching out

to the ones that hurt us

because i have someone on my side that

will not be defeated

and i hope you do too

blessings and enjoy this amazing video and song,

jennifer

chivalry...rare to find

2011-10-01T08:46:00.001-05:00

#263. Accept chivalry.

"When your father and I started dating, I was shocked by the way he held every door for me and grasped my hand when I stepped off a low curb. Despite being secretly smitten by these gestures, in my self-righteous youth, I responded with ridiculous assertions that I could do it myself. I kept up this charade until the day he bluntly told me to lay off. He knew I was perfectly capable of the simple task of opening a door; he just wanted to do it for me! Then and now, I revel in your father’s dedication to old-fashioned chivalry: He still walks to the passenger side of the car to open the door for me; he refuses to allow me to carry heavy things; and he insists that I wrap myself in his coat, even though I knew it would be a cold night and left my warm jacket at home because it didn’t coordinate with my dress. This is what’s known as gallantry. Know that you aren’t entitled to it, and you can’t expect it, but in those rare cases when you find it beating down your door, embrace it! Also, thank your father for showing you how it’s done."

found at http://www.prudentadviceformybabydaughter.com/

i guess if you are a mother of boys
you hope and pray this is what your young son will grow to be
if you have daughters
you PRAY that they will find the rare man that still has chivalry qualities

any dating that took place before thomas
was with "teeny" boppers
i was still on the verge of leaving "teeny bopper" stage dates
i wouldn't even really call them dates
it was more of hanging out
consisted of sitting in my parent's driveway just talking
maybe a movie with a group of people
and you always met there
or you were hanging out as a group at a friend's house

i liked to think i was pretty "strong" as a female
i didn't need the door opened
and especially if someone ordered my food for me
so it was a shocker when T and I
really started to seriously date
that he ordered my dinner
my chair was pulled out
the door was always opened for me

even now - after 9 years of marriage
he still shows those same qualities
i don't get everything i ever ask for
and i'm thankful for that
because when i am showered with a present
or something thoughtful
it means so much to me

an old high school friend of mine
posted this on facebook the other day
and i'm sure i i gave a loud AMEN

We need to teach our daughters to distinguish between a man who flatters her- and a man who compliments her. A man who spends money on her- and a man who invests in her. A man who views her as property- and a man who views her properly. A man who lusts after her-and a man who loves her. A man who believes he is God's gift to women- and a man who remembers a woman was God's gift to man...

hoping all you moms
with beautiful daughters find a man of chivalry
and mothers with sons
hope you have men of chivalry for our daughters

blessings,
jennifer

i'm here...

2011-09-30T08:52:00.000-05:00

i'm so behind in blogs
there are loads of post in draft
that are just waiting to have the "publish" button pushed
life is busy but it's great
being blessed by helping others and giving others in need some of my time
unfortunately, blog world gets neglected

this weekend
i'm making a point to loads some pictures
and hit publish on a few post

in the meantime
i'm going to push through this friday
with very tired eyes
with a thankful attitude
of this beautiful day
crisp fall weather
and a healthy family

enjoy the day with a positive attitude

blessings,
jennifer

remembering

2011-09-11T21:10:00.000-05:00

as i sat in sunday school this morning
reminded of how the nation cried out for prayers
on this same day 10 years ago
how there was such a desire for God's mercy on
families, our children and most importantly our country
it's amazing how 10 years later on this same day
our schools are not allowed to have prayer
before sporting events there is no longer prayer
rarely will you hear our president, if you even do, mention to name of Jesus or God

we sit here 10 years later
and talk about how messed up the world is
how times are so bad
the destruction that is taking place
and we really don't know why?
do we hear anyone begging for the prayers and for God's mercy
as we did the day of the terrible attack?

i want to always keep the memory of this day
but more importantly
i always want to keep the need for prayer
for our country
our leaders
so that we and our children and generations for now
how a country that is still founded on the beliefs of Christianity
that still understands and values power of prayer

while i still mourn for all the ones that were effected by this tragedy on 9-11
i am mourning also for the loss of the need of God and prayer in our country

O beautiful for spacious skies,

For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America! God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

(pictures taken on back roads in alabama)

blessings,
jennifer

inspiration blog

2011-09-08T09:43:00.000-05:00

love getting ideas from blog world
when putting together some ideas for the rooms in our house
i came across Favorite Paint Colors
you have to stop by
wonderful paint color ideas
fantastic home decorating ideas
i found myself lost looking at all the pictures
taking notes of things i wanted to remember
which makes me think i really have to get into this whole pinterest thing

anyhow, go here and check it out
see if you notice anything familiar with today's post....

blessings,
jennifer

vacation part duex

2011-09-03T09:19:00.002-05:00

i'm sure your bored already with the beach post
however, i have to keep the little things written somewhere
other than the baby book
along with pictures to remember all of these moments
just bare with me

day two was fabulous
i honestly believe the sun shines a little brighter near the ocean
as the sky is just a different shade of blue
while i love me some heels and dress clothes
i'm starting to realize i could live in flip flops
with beach cover ups majority of my time

not worrying about makeup
or hair
while i'm sure that there were mornings T wished i would of put some on
it's a free spirit
"just woke up" beach look that is so carefree
plus, put on a hat that covers most of your face
a huge pair of sunglasses
and viola - you're a superstar

as we started at the beach for majority of the morning
i quickly realized this wasn't going to be
a time to close my eyes
listens to the waves
and feel the breeze and misting ocean water on my face
kennedy had 3 buckets and toys everywhere
obviously, this would entertain her for a while
wrong
each bucket always had to have water in it
and she wasn't going to the ocean by herself to get it
so up and down and up and down
t and i went to refill the buckets of water
we even went as far as burying the buckets in the sand so the water wouldn't come out
didn't work
she pulled as hard as she could to get it out of the sand
we both then looked at each other
realizing that our little girl is 2
and wants us to play with her and what are we thinking trying to just sit around
realizing our vacations are very different now
and different for the better

after lunch nap it was pool time
i will be placing kennedy in swimming lessons this fall
after watching her kick off the side
doggy paddle with her feet
turn herself around in the water
and not freak out if she goes under
this child completely amazed me with her time in the pool
we had to have every float within a hands reach
every little happy meal toy that she owns on the side of the pool
and she claimed the "Steps" as her spot

we didn't have big events racing go karts
i didn't shop anything like i imagined
there weren't super late nights of driving around
it was a slow pace of nothing
which is what i needed
enjoying someone cooking my dinner
(and i went all out on the food - probably an extra 10 lbs more)
treated ourselves to dessert
and spent hours on the deck once kennedy was asleep
just catching up
chatting about nothing really

laughing at the new things kennedy is doing and saying
like how the whole way down there she was very consistent
about a cowboy
i have no idea where she got that
or who the cowboy is
but she wanted a cowboy
or how now when she wants to give us something
it's "honey, honey"
the fact that she was the only kid on the beach or at the pool
that refused to remove her sunglasses
(watch suri...i have a diva here in TN)

i could go on about things i noticed and watched in my daughter for days
i watch in amazement at she is mine
and still sometimes find it hard to believe that God let me have this precious
sometimes feisty little girl
i didn't just come back with extra sand in bags and clothes
or with another hermit crab (who has since gone on to hermit land)
i didn't come back with just a tan and some peeling
but i came back realizing even more how precious time is
especially with the ones that you love
how important it is to slow down and take it in
to stop what you are doing when they are talking to you
not to always be multi tasking when your husband gets home and shares about his day
to stop when my teenage step sons want to share about something
as a friend over at here stated so well in a recent post
"stop, look them in the eye..."

that's what i'm bringing back with me
and what i hope to achieve as a wife and mother
embracing our conversations
and lives together

blessings until beach iii,
jennifer

vacation part I

2011-09-02T17:26:00.000-05:00

i honestly don't know where to start

as i downloaded over 500 pictures last night

yes, over 500 pictures

i thought aloud to T

"how do i decide what to post? what to print?"

with that being said

i will not overload you with a million pictures

but ones that i beleive truly capture the

wonderful moments spent together

the ones that tell the story of vacation by themselves

that show personality that only a picture can capture

all unedit and raw

pure kennedy, me and T fun

day one:
left house at 4:30am
let me just say that is early
and myself didn't even think about that wake up call
as i was still up at 11:30 the previous evening
kennedy did great on the way down there

until about an hour from the beach
then came the "mommy i want out"
by that time all the toys were old
she had no interest in any of them
i had put the flip flops back on her feet for the 1 millionth time
at this point i'm almost crying "i want out of the car"

perfect weather
perfect view
uncrowded beach and pool
with kennedy successfully jumping in the water and loving every minute of it

dinner was here
hog's breath is like the first night ritual
best smoked tuna dip eva

i think kennedy was about to fall asleep at the table
she didn't speak a word
but did finish off the cheeseburger
called it an early night in preparation
for a fun full day of sun and water

blessings,
jennifer

operation home

2011-09-01T20:40:00.000-05:00

after much longing for new paint colors
a "refresh" of the things i already had in our house
it finally happened

week prior to our vacation
there was hammering on the roof
shingles all over our new bremuda grass
patches on the entire walls
samples of paint swatches on different areas of the house

it was really a super fast and easy process
i would leave for work in the morning
come home and with a new roof and majority of my house painted

despite the fact that i have things
all over the dining room table
tucked away in every open space of cabinet i could find
the bonus room floor covered with curtains and furniture
it was a seamless process

while i was on vacation
two of the best women in the world took over my house
let me just say there are no words to describe my gratitude
toward my mother and sister
no detail left unnoticed
i couldn't be more pleased
in fact we are about to "revamp" the bonus room
so girls get ready...that's your next job

i always thought i could put a room together pretty well
i was mistakenly wrong
it obviously is better to have 2 other sets of eyes to help you

walking into our home late Sunday night
after a long drive
t and i were just stunned
speechless
what a way to come back from vacation

will have to continue to build upon the picture wall
but i have visions of lots of memorable pictures on this wall
it's a huge wall - that no amount of furniture is big enough to fill the space
on my kind of budget

i don't do house plants
but the mom and sister got these
as seen in martha stewart
need shade and very little water
i'm thinking i can handle that

next room to be "worked" on is the dining room
distressed farm table is in the works
with some old barn wood
so thankful a man that T works with can build
had this fabric put away in a closet for years
thinking each side has over 9 yeards...it's ALOT of fabric

trying to find the perfect handles for this dresser
that was turquoise in front of someone's drive way
next door to my parents
another man's junk...is another man's treasure

love how they made sure to put kennedy a little space
since they removed all the "kid" friendly toys out of the living room
i decided it was time to take out the changing table
while it made diaper changing much easier
as kennedy would not run from me or roll around
it allowed more room for the never ending amount of toys she has

my pure luck of a shot easter picture
i will never luck out this good again
i get my frames from a man at the flea market
i promise his prices CAN NOT be beat
plus the more you buy...the better deal he gives

i'm super excited about other changes that are coming
as i know we will probably be here for a good long time
as i surround myself with pictures of my family
and items that hold so many memories
i sit in a place of contentment

thanks again to the mom and sister
you two rock

blessings,
jennifer

hustle bustle

2011-08-29T21:52:00.001-05:00

i know it's only expected that i blog
about the recent adventures of the beach trip
but as i sit watching the clock
get later
which means in a few short hours it's back to reality for this chick
i can't blog about the beach
no worries - it's coming
but right now
honestly, i'm kind of pitiful

i LOVE being with my daughter
i love slow mornings waking up
making breakfast for her
it always goes like this:
me: good morning sunshine
k: good morrrrnnniinnggg
me: what would you like for breakfast
k: sasage (how it sounds) pancake
every morning like clock work

i love being able to start dinner at 5:00pm
and not driving in rush hour traffic to get home by 6:00
to throw something together quick
running out the door to a ballgame
or church
or any other events that take space on the calendar

i'm pitiful tonight folks
i witnessed so much of my daughter's personality this week
and i'm amazed
this little bity body
of blue eyes and white hair
has so much to say and do and show me
so much excitement al bundled up
just waiting to share it with you

i am so thankful in this economy that i have such an amazing job
with so many amazing people
i love my job
and i love the people i work with
but right now
at this second
on the night before i have to return to work from vacation
i don't like any of it
i told you....i'm pitiful tonight

no worries, i'll be back to myself (note i didn't say normal)

shortly, but for right now

i'm allowing myself to be pitiful

blessings,

jennifer

all mine

2011-08-26T08:59:00.000-05:00

thought i would hold off a little bit on the beach blogs
especially, since we aren't home yet
and i'm sure there are much more memories to be made over the next couple of days
so far it's been just incredible
such a blessing to be able to spend this time
with my favorite, now white headed little girl
and reconnect with T without all the stresses of everyday life

we definitely made a pack that no matter what may be going on
or what we may have to sacrifice
this trip is something that has to be done each year
**i'm pushing for twice a year!!!**

anyhow, as i sit here on the floor
while K is as close to me as she possibly can
asking me over and over if a blue crayon is pink
she doesn't like my answer that it's a blue crayon
so i finally just say it's pink

i have watched and watched this child of mine
like a hawk this week
she has truly amazed me
i've seen the little girl she is turning into
and i'm so proud
no fear of water
which is great but terrifies me too
*side note - swimming lessons when we return home*

watching her jump off the side of the pool with no fear
push off the side into the middle of the pull
i just can't get over

the post prior was about how much they watch
it's just been reminded to me even more this week
i sit in amazement as she plays
and swims with daddy
feeling so lucky and beyond blessed
that she is
all mine

i must go now
little bit just asked to paint toes
sand is a great exfoliator
but it isn't good for a pedicure

we'll paint toes while T is playing golf
then it's off the splish and splash
with the one that is
all mine

blessings,
jennifer

they watch

2011-08-21T20:39:00.000-05:00

if i ever needed to be reminded
that people are always watching
i got that reminder this weekend

we're off to the beach for a few days
i'm sure there are lots of interesting post
just brewing up
until then...

many blessings,
jennifer

Today's Modesty

2011-08-20T07:00:00.002-05:00

, style(this blog post is strictly the opinion of a conservative women with the hopes that she can raise her daughter to be respectful of her body, that God gave her)

pictures are from Style Blueprint, check it out here, and i think they are just fabulous

modesty:
Reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior.

Lack of pretentiousness; simplicity.

pretentiousness:
expressive of affected, unwarranted, or exaggerated importance, worth, or stature

Humility is like underwear, essential but indecent if it shows —Helen Nielsen, Reader’s Digest, March, 1959

i'm sure you know where i am headed with this
as i have dropped hints, in previous post
with my opinion on dress and inappropriate"ness" of kids, children and women in today's society
i already dropped a few hints of my opinion here, if you need a refresh

if i haven't admitted already, i love to people watch
always have and probably will continue
i don't people watch - judging
i people watch trying to figure out their story...kind of like blog world
i like to see the trends...how people carry themselves...

tory burch

and yes at times the horrible moments where you are actually embarrassed for this person
so now that middle school football season has started
and i sit on the bleachers surrounded by pre teen and teenage girls (and some mommas)
it's hard to focus on the game at times
i leaned over to thomas the other night and simply said
"what happens when the day comes that kennedy wants to wear that?"
t response was "she won't"
internally i was laughing thinking "yea right"
i remember being told no too, oh how i hate to admit this...
BAGGY PANTS
but i packed them in a bag and when i got to my destination - i changed

banana republic

so then i asked "what if she takes them with her and changes"
his response - "she won't leave the house!"
again, my internal laughter was hurting my sides and with that i just turned back to the game
with my thoughts trying to figure out, how do i teach and make sure that kennedy
outwardly shows how much she respects herself, her body
and how she also demands that same respect from anyone around her?

mother's of daughters - i welcome any and all words of wisdom
i know i have years before all this starts
and i continually pray each day for her life as she grows and the girl that she will become

seriously, if you have to keep pulling your shorts down - why wear them?
no joke, i have underwear, probably, bigger and cover more than some of these little girls shorts
by all means, i'm not saying that all girls should be in capris and pants
but when there are bathing suits similar to the length of your shorts...maybe it's time to rethink this

as i look around and see more and more teens having babies
with the influence of the show "17 and pregnant" almost making it the "thing" to do
i'm heart broken and disgusted
strictly my opinion...but i believe it goes hand in hand

i don't know how to make sure that kennedy always demands the respect
and i don't know how to make sure that she always presents herself in a respectful way
i do know that i have to teach her
i have to be the one to lead by example
i know i have to pray that God shows me the way to mother her as she grows
and i also know that God will show her as well

i hope no one has been offended by this post
i strictly just see things getting worse and more
and frankly, that scares me as a mom to a small child - especially a girl

Tina Adams, owner of Wardrobe Consulting LLC, in Nashville:

i came across this poem here
and new immediately that it went with this post (which has been in draft for a while)
i am working on memorizing this for kennedy
and figuring out a way to incorporate it somehow in her room

Time-Tested Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Never throw out anybody.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!
By Sam Levenson

i know the day will come
where kennedy and i will walk out of a store
not speaking because i will not purchase the "in" item of clothing
or slammed doors because i won't let her do certain things to her hair
or cut off her jeans into short shorts (goodness, i hope not)
but i also know i will have a day
where i look at a beautiful
respectful
classy
dignified, young woman
that i call my daughter

here's a high five to all you mother's with beautiful, respectful, God fearing daughters!

blessings,
jennifer

take 2

2011-08-19T08:00:00.007-05:00

i think i can
i think i can
i KNOW i can
i KNOW i can

if only kennedy understood this
if i could help her little mind understand that this is new
and very soon this will not be new
it will be routine

kennedy wanted to carry her backpack in
she looked like such a big girl
and i don't think i've ever taken pictures at school
which makes me think i need to carry my camera

by the time we hit the door
i had the back pack
her little arms were crossed tight
as she doesn't want to hold my hand (insert my tears here)
we get to the new classroom
i open the door to a room full of energetic little kids
all clean and hair in place
knowing in a few short hours
faces will be covered in dirt
bows no longer in their hair
shoes have been tied a good 30 times

i say my hello and good mornings
and turn back to find
kennedy walking backwards slowly out the doorway
and then when she is out of an arm's reach
she darts down the hallway to, none other than her
OLD CLASSROOM
proceeds to stand there and bang on the door
wondering "why can't i get in"

i laugh and want to cry at the same time
while i scoop her up
i get kicked and the stiff arm
with a little child screaming
and let it be known - my child has never been the screaming child in school
oh but now she is

here comes the part that i know is horrible
but i also know it is what i have to do
i don't hang around
i don't squat down and rationalize with her
because even as ~~smart as she is~~ a 2 year old, she doesn't understand all i am saying
i place her in the care of a teacher, whom i trust completely
place her pull ups in her bathroom cubby
then i leave
i do this more for my own sanity
and so i don't lose it right there
then the teachers have a crying momma with a crying toddler

i remember the nights i was letting kennedy
cry herself to sleep
i would just grab a magizine and try to tune it out
thomas had to go drive
he had to leave
he couldn't take it
and i couldn't understand why
it's not killing her to let her cry
she isn't getting sick
not passing out
just learning to soothe herself

2 years later, i know how he felt
and my public apology for making fun of him
for always telling him to toughen up
i was ok with being the "hard" parent
for standing firm and saying no
now i'm struggling with being as soft as 4-ply toilet paper
and just crumbling into one hot mess (is this what emotional menopause will be like, lord, i hope not)

i giggle as i walk to my car
thinking of her smooth move
running to her old classroom
she's a slick one for sure

God is really teaching me through this small little move
how much HE wants me to rely on him
even these little things
like leaving my child in a new classroom
HE can handle
even when i can't

blessings,
jennifer

sidenote * to celebrate day #2 in the classroom - we jumped on the bed full of laundry. all while holding onto mommy's things and yelling "otie otie otie" aka, otis the bassett. then we finished off the celebration with a brib to go potty in the big girl potty for a toothbrush! i'll be glad to give all kinds of parenting advice...just call and schedule with my assistant, kennedy!

not prepared

2011-08-18T09:04:00.001-05:00

i'm a planner
i like to be prepared
but i can also swing with what comes my way fairly well
i really try to keep good composure when in presence of others
and then if i have to let it fly
i will do so in the presence of my home or car or possibly in a bathroom stall

however, this morning was tested
as i proceeded to take kennedy into school
we do our routine
check in
tap on the piano as we walk through the lobby
hand sanitizer as we walk into the room
she runs to the back door to see her friends all playing outside
i start to complete her form for the day

happy as can be after school, playing with socks

today, was the same thing
until her teacher said she is going straight to her new class
WHAT!
you mean, i have to be the one to take her and drop her off with teachers she doesn't know?
i have to see that sad face of "mommy, what is going on"
i have to be the one that hears the cries as i leave her in this new environment?

my stomach came up to my throat
my heart started to race
i'm not ready for this
where has my little girl gone?

cinnamon toast and pizza for 1st day in new classroomas

i tried to show her the fish in the aquarium
reintroduced kids she has been in class with
showing her new toys
trying my absolute best to sell her on this great adventure
when i was just about to run out of the room crying

it hit me
i'm going to be doing this the rest of my life
it's motherhood
i will continually have to encourage kennedy
with new adventures and challenges
all while i want to just hold her close
cuddle and smell the sweetness of fresh bathed skin
or the stinkiness of toddler morning breathe

new toys from daddy

i know she will have a terrific day
there will be a little journal for me to read about her day
and that excites me
she has her own cubby - which may call for a new backpack

as we start yet another new thing
i am reminded of

Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. 1 Peter 5:7

kennedy is HIS child
a child HE has entrusted me with
i know HE will watch over her
HE will give me the peace and guidance to mold
this little one into a wonderful woman

but it's such a scary job
a job that i want to excel at more than anything else in this world

excited about another new day

blessings,

jennifer

aniexty

2011-08-17T08:48:00.000-05:00

Phil 4:4-7

Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, Rejoice! (not always easy, but we are to do it ALWAYS!).
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near! (he is near, always!)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

we have a big agenda for the next two weeks
starting tomorrow our home will be full of painters and "fix it up" men
my dining room is one disorganized mess
of everything that was on the walls - shelves - counters
tonight we have to take down curtains, tapestries and tv
while i am beyond giddy of the transformation that is about to take place
seeing everything in my dining room makes me a little anxious
because i know it all has to go back
and I want it in somewhat of an order before i leave on vacay

and that is where my anxiety is starting to creep in
how in the world can vacation cause anxiety?
it never has before
and i'm quickly reminded
that i've never had a ~~baby~~ toddler on vacation with me
why is this stressing me?

i know i will have more packed than what is needed
i've googled "what to take with a toddler to the beach"
seriously - why am i doing this to myself?
other than toys to entertain a very long car ride
some comfort items for in the condo
the blankie
beach toys
first aid kit -
i mean, come on, i'm sure florida doesn't have a walgreens on every corner

get this, i even have books and reading materials for myself
i know, your thinking "yea right"
but i have a plan...because those of you that know me - i have to have a plan
the plan may fail - but i ~~had~~ have a plan
kennedy still takes an afternoon nap
ranging anywhere from 2 -3 hours
so during that time thomas and i can alternate
who gets to lounge on the deck while she sleeps and who can stay on the beach/by the pool
that is my ~~reading time~~ crash and catch up on 2 years of sleep
did i really think k was going to take her princess book and read along side of me at the beach?

while it may be a while until i lounge and relax side by side with my daughter
i'm gearing up for sand castles
getting buried in the sand
screams and cries from fear of something new or water splashing her the wrong way
being 100% alert in fear of something happening
getting some much needed time with t
not having to cook dinner
not having to make the bed - but we know i will
and most importantly
experiencing something new with k and making memories for years to come

charging up camera batteries
and taking mental notes for future "beach" blog post

blessings,
jennifer

july 4th recap

2011-08-11T09:31:00.000-05:00

another post that has been sitting in draft - well since the 4th

i did a horrible job of picture taking
this pass fourth of july
i did manage to get a few
no fancy outfit for k
it was hot hot hot and humid

we headed to my parents for a cookout
but stopping ahead of time so that z could pick out some fireworks
which they all shot off before it ever got dark...oh to be a kid

we enjoyed some great bbq- thanks to the smoking of my brother and dad
some great potato salad, beans and all the other picnic food that is needed for the 4th

(my little redneck girl)

t and i had fun dominating everyone in horse shoes
i know my one ringer was the kicker
or maybe it was the constant ringers he made
(there isn't any sport he doesn't excel at)

i think more enjoyable
was just having nothing to do but to enjoy the company of my family
minus my sister in law and 2 nephews, who were visiting family in alabama
my family means more to me than anything
we are a close family - who sees each other alot
this i warned t of before we were married
i think maybe he thought i was exaggerating

hope everyone had a wonderful 4th
it's like the kick off to summer and more really hot weather

blessings,
jennifer

What I'm Grateful for Today...

2011-08-10T21:59:00.001-05:00

(written sunday evening)
(pictures with point and shoot that i need to figure out)

i'm grateful for many things everyday
i try not to let a day or moment go by that i don't let my mind wonder
just a little,
to appreciate all the things, big and small, that i am blessed with

a fellow blogger friend, jenna, over at To Heaven and Back
had a post a few weeks ago that really caught my attention and touched my heart
i immediately let her know i would be using this as a future blog post
so as it has set in "edit" stage for a while now
it's time to publish

as we were heading to dinner last night
laughter filled the car and noise was so loud
you couldn't carry on a
decent conversation
it was a few moments where the characteristics of a 2 year diva
didn't annoy two teenagers in the car with her screams of mine and no
everyone laughed when something was funny
there was no name calling
i just sat quietly in my back seat (yes,my oldest step sons takes shotgun)
and soaked up this moment - i'm really trying to soak up all these moments that i can this year
and i have created a nagger in myself as i encourage t to do the same thing

quick to love/hug and slow to anger
i know our time with austin grows shorter each day
as he dreams about what his future holds after may 2012
so while he dreams of his future
i am trying to mentally capture all of the slow times that we have

as we left dinner last night i was asked "what did you get"
since everyone seemed to walk out with a little goodie
i simply stated
"i got a dinner with 2 of my favorite steps sons and a wonderful little girl"
then when i said "that is something you can't put a price on"
and got a reply for austin of "that's right"

something about that response just warmed my heart
i hung onto that all night long and even today
once home we got into our typical sunday evening routine
which consist of alot of "get this done...do this ...make sure you have this ready"
i finished off the night with some good text conversation with my sister
and our roles and challenges of mothers to children in this day of age
crawled in the bed with a new book
thanked my lord for my wonderful blessings
i prayed for his protecting hand to follow the boys
throughout the week and dozed off

so i'm grateful today for:
unanswered prayers
the craziness of teenage boys
the drama from a 2year old diva
the typical forgetfulness of a husband
the peacefulness of a quiet house when i know everyone is sleepy peacefully
the rarity of slowness when i can really embrace all the God has given me

blessings,
jennifer

creative juices

2011-08-05T08:17:00.000-05:00

a simple call from T this morning
took my mind on a journey down a different path than work
it's been a struggle all day to focus on what i need to get done
so i can go home and indulge in magazines and write down everything
that comes to mind

he called to tell me that by august 20th the new roof will be on
and....drum roll please......
my house, interior, will be painted
my fellow blog readers you just have no idea how excited this makes me
this is a plan 9 years in the waiting
so i must share where it all started

when we built our house we had all sorts of colors picked out
when we got the pricing list i immediately told t "no way"
let's just have them paint 2 rooms the really dark color
then i will recruit mom/sister and we'll tackle the remainder of the rooms
this month is the 9 year we have been in this house
and it's still the same old horrible color that was painted when we built

i hated it then and i hate it now
granted, i have lived with it
but it is totally not me
paint choices are not an easy thing to pick
everything looks one way in the store
and then we samples are all over the wall
it looks completely different
then colors all start looking the same
so on and so on

i have ideas of what i want
it's just finding the color that i have stored in my head to go on my walls
which brings me to another revalation, that i just had a few days ago
while i love and wishfully would love to have an all white kitchen
a white living room with down stuffed pillows and dark hardwood floors
burlap chairs with European flare accessories
it's not true to me

while i love getting pottery barn and restoration hardware each month
trying to mimic the furniture in ballard design on a dime
it's still not me
granted, there are things as accessories that are
but in general i'm a traditional home girl
i love antique's
thick, bold gaudy frames
i'm not a person that cn do modern or straight lines
while it totally looks good in homes
it will not be visiting mine
i love the look of NYC lofts and rustic farm houses
and i think that is where my eclectic traditional flare comes from

so as my mind is running wild and i'm saving pictures and taking notes left/right
i envision my home finally evolving to what i have been desiring for years
a conversation typically with t goes like this

me: "you know how you take really good care of your car and golf clubs
t: yea
me: well this house is like your car/golf clubs. i take pride in it. it's what i have to show
t: ok"

i don't think he ever gets it...but he does now seeing the excitement from his call this morning
t better hold on because i'm in a total DIY/redo mode
with lots of things that have been taking space in the garage
and it's time they get into their new home

now this maybe a long DIY/redo so bare with me
i do work, have step children that are active in school activities, not to mention a 2 year old diva,
community projects, ect.

first redo - while i'm on vacay - but i'll save that to blog later

blessings and much excitement,
jennifer

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-03T21:32:00.001-05:00

blessings,
Jennifer

Summer Pictures

2011-08-01T22:39:00.000-05:00

i haven't been taking nearly the amount of pictures that i desire
i forget about my camera in the closet
we always seem to be on the move and not just chilling at home
and trying to get a good shot of a running two year old...
PLEASE - i just give up

then i start to realize how the time isn't slowing down
that in less than a year i will have my oldest step son entering college
youngest step son just entered teenage"hood"
and a 2 year old going on 16 already
STOP STOP STOP
the insanity of this clock moving in fast forward has to stop
i'm tired of complaining about the time
and how i want things to slow down
wanting more time to just enjoy these wonderful gifts i was blessed with
in reality i'm the one that can slow it down and enjoy them

i was able to take down the camera the other night
just sit and snap away while kennedy played
while zach enjoyed the water slide
and i enjoyed time with my sister

then i actually made a little time to go in and play with the photos
**disclaimer that i am not at all good or knowledgeable with editing ; so easy on critiquing**

just me, a camera, slow time and God's wonderful blessings

blessings from my slow time to yours,
jennifer

Mary or Martha

2011-07-18T13:24:00.000-05:00

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:38-42

as i have struggled the past few weeks with the thoughts, like any other person,
that there just aren't enough hours in the day and days in the weekend
while i have to work outside the home
i still strive to keep my home as a woman,wife and mother that is there majority of the time

reading facebook statuses of friends who are enjoying the slowness of a summer day
lounging by the pool or playing in the sprinkler with their little ones outside
i just struggle with the "enviousness" of wanting that "slow" time

every morning and every evening as i walk pass certain rooms
i say the same thing, and i know it's driving t crazy,
"man, i need to clean this, i need to do that, this is a mess...."
t always reminds me that it's not dirty
that the house isn't a mess
and reminds me that we are a family with a little 2 year old running around
it just seems like i'm losing my time management skills and organization of life's schedule

so last night, as i realized that the grocery store would have to wait until the weekend
and t was out of his protein breakfast bars
we are getting to the last bit of milk - thankfully k is more of a water drinker
i have freezers full of meat and nothing to go with it
and the stockpile...well it's not really a pile anymore

so as i got home from church late last night, we have revival going on,
and i crawled to soak in the tub around 10:45
a sweet, dear friend sent me the perfect text
i love how God places wonderful people in your life
and then allows to use them at the perfect time
she sent me a message in regards to martha and mary
and what we should strive to be like
to not be so distracted by all the other things that are going on
but to focus on what God wants me to do
because if i am doing that then everything else will fall into place

i have reread the verse over and over today
pondering on the topic
and how i can make that my desire
how can i be the mary in the 21st century?

i guess while i figure it out
i can go mop and clean the floors

blessings,
jennifer

dreaded shopping tripthis one is for the ladies

2011-07-15T18:16:00.001-05:00

i love shopping
whether it be for groceries, clothes, makeup, antiques
really doesn't matter what it is for
and even more than shopping
i love to find a bargain
realizing that if i continue to look for something i can typically find it cheaper
makes for drug out shopping trips with my refusal to pay full price
***kuddos to mom for that trait***

with a LONG awaited beach trip approaching the end of august
it is that time
to shop for the ever dreaded
nothing really fits rights
or covers enough
or shows enough
bathing suit

i'm going to let you in on a secret
well not really a secret
but i have not purchased or put on a swim suit in over 3 years
CRAZY, i know

so here is the dilemma now and i promise not to get too strung out on my rampage on my personal opinion
i like to think of myself as a conservative dresser
and that is possibly due to my first years in the job world
were banking jobs where you wore panty hose in the 100 degree 100% humidity
closed toe shoes - NEVER
sleeveless - probably sent home
it helps also that as a teenager i was so insecure about my body
i hated my long bird legs and refused to wear the short shorts or any shorts for that matter

when capris came out - i was stoked, super excited
i could work with these
so i embraced the capris
it wasn't until i was older and could actually appreciate my height
and learn way to work on the muscle in my leg to add just even the slightest definition
*i know some are completely falling out laughing right now*
as i near 30 - i completely embrace the areas i do not necessarily like
i learn to to dress those areas and embrace my "i wanna wear stretchy pants days"

so with this conservativeness comes the dreaded picking out the suit
i don't want to look like grandma down the beach
and i most definitely don't want to look like a mother who is trying desperately to look 20 years younger
while i want to look good and hide the areas i don't like
granted heidi and gisele can rock a string bikini like no other
but i know i'm not that nor will i ever be - so why try

so do i go for the one piece
classy, still flattering and can be sexy - is that term allowed on blogger?

or do you go with the tankini...because that is the way around
still being able to sport a "kini" but cover up a little more

no comes the cover up

we all know a tshirt and umbros just don't cut it when you are over the age of 13

eventually i will slip on that perfect swim suit

that makes me feel confident

it won't scream i'm trying to be a teenager again

and i pray it doesn't scream old lady

in the meantime

i will continue to search for that perfect one

blessings,

jennifer

***pictures courtesy of jcrew.com and toryburch.com***

random weekend thoughts (last weekend)

2011-07-04T00:18:00.000-05:00

1. i'm so thankful i still have left over spice tea mix
that my sister so graciously makes me over the holidays
because i have spent all weekend in bed with the worst body aches
and sore throat
why must one get sick on a weekend?

2. kennedy needs her toe repainted
as she crawls all over me and this laptop while i type
i realize it's time for a pedi
honestly, i kind of like her chipped paint toenails
it reminds me of all the playing and fun times she has

3. when i'm under the weather and just have a little time to lay around
i realize how much stuff needs a "touch up" on the ole home front
t really doesn't like it when i have alot of down time at home
because it usually ends up with a list or my voice talking about all the needs to be done

4. otis really needs a bath so he can get the love and attention he so desires as a dog!
his smell is just indescribable...but yet he's just the cutest thing with those long ears and body

5. i made egg salad today for the first time
wanted something light and fresh
was thinking since t and i are both really watching what we eat
and trying to get in as much exercise as our schedules allow
i thought the egg salad was great
i believe t ate it just because i made it

6. t keeps having to go up on his belt holes because when he decides it's time to
lose weight and exercise the weight just falls off
i mean, like, literally he thinks about losing weight and poof it's starts to disappear
while i sit back and think...i ran13 miles...and continue to run as regular as i can
and still have to pull out the fat pants every now and then
oh well, kudos to him

7. i love the sight of my hibiscus bush on my deck and it's fresh blooms everyday

enjoy your raining sunday...i am mine

blessings,
jennifer

i let it get the best of me

2011-06-26T10:24:00.000-05:00

i had my first real "i'm a terrible mother" moment last night
i've felt that way when i first came back to work but i blame alot of that on hormones
and i'm pretty close to blaming last night on horomones too
(isn't it great to be a woman)

me trying to get my 2 year old to take the most awful smelling medicine in
and her screaming, kicking, back bends, spitting, yelling "i don't like", arms flying around crazy
just about shot my nerves last night
in fact it did
i just had to remove myself and all the tools i used to try to convince my daughter
that this horrible, perm like smell, medicine is delicious and she should take it like a good little girl

i had pink medicine on my face and clothes
it was all over the floor
we went through 3 pajama shirts of hers
probably 20 wipes and 2 rags later
i waved the white flag
i was done

at this point my nerves are shot
i feel horrible because it's my duty as her mother to make sure that i help get her well
even if that means forcing this stuff down her
and i couldn't accomplish that
mission= failed

i raised my voice at kennedy, like she did something wrong, when a toy slammed me upside the head
i walked away and just stood at the kitchen counter
when suddenly soft little foot steps came in beside me
and the sweetest little arms just wrapped around my leg and squeezed on tight
talk about feeling guilty

as i went to get kennedy ready for bed, earlier than normal, and we said our prayers
i could barely get through as the tears started to stream down my face
all i want and pray is for my precious child to get better and this horrible rash clear up on her face
i just want her to take the medicine and for everything to look and feel better

as i continued my pity party throughout the remainder of the evening
i keep feeling those tiny arms wrap around my leg
it reminded me of this child's unconditional love
all while i thought she just hated me for raising my voice and forcing this nasty stuff down her throat

she just wanted to play and hug on her mommy

i learned, yet, another trick today at work that i will try in order to get this medicine into her system
and i pray that it works and i ask you blog readers, if you remember and find the time, to lift her up in prayer
in the meantime i am keeping my nerves and emotions in check

until the next dose,
blessings,
jennifer

infantigo

2011-06-20T22:13:00.000-05:00

right before i took kennedy to sewanee to have her picturs made
i noticed a small little "baby pimple"
you've seen new borns that have them
i didn't think anything of it
except for "great...she has a little pimple before i have her pictures made"
yes, i am somewhat vain when it comes to her face
but anyhow...didn't think anything more of it

as the day ended from having her photos made
my mom and i noticed some redness on each side of her nose
we concluded that it was from us constantly wiping her nose while we were outside
with our fingers
again...didn't give it much thought
kept aquaphore on it and thought it would just go away

a month later
2 doctor's appointments
2 topical creams
1 nasty smelling pink antibiotic
a fever high fever
and an appointment with a dermatologist scheduled
i learned it was a strep rash...otherwise known as infantigo

i'm still not sure how she got it
but i know i have to get rid of this rash that is covering almost the whole bottom part of her chin
now it's causing my girl to be sick and i feel so bad for just blowing it off as a pimple

the dr today said "scarlet fever" and seriously, as i hate to admit this,
i really thought was just part of the Scarlett Letter book...not that it was something real
she doesn't have scarlet fever...but it's kind of like the same thing

my heart broke today as her fever reached 103 - the highest it has ever been
and she just laid on the couch- lifeless
and let me just assure you this child is not lifeless

the vain"ness" in me wants this rash to go away and her face to not be left with any scars
and the mother in me wants to take all of this discomfort away
i know how miserable i feel with a little fever
i can't imagine what that little body must feel like

i laugh as i sit here and document this
because my mom has called me numerous times
as instructed by my father to check on nenny
and in her own little mother way
wanted to make sure that i check kennedy every 2 hours tonight for fever
i know it's not that they feel i can't take care of her
but it just showed me even more how much this little girl is loved
and how much this little girl is spoiled rotten

i haven't taken any pictures of her face or the infection
but now as i write this...i guess i should to document
until then...
kiss your babies
hold them tight
and if they are asleep safe and sound
healthy and full
thank God above for it!

blessings,
jennifer

blessings disguised as burdens

2011-06-20T21:56:00.000-05:00

Lord, please grant me more patience for the things that are truly your blessings
as i got running late the other morning
because kennedy wanted to eat just the icing on the donut
and there were little bity crumbs everywhere on the rug
sausage was under the coffee table
she didn't like the shoes i put on her

i realized i hadn't watered my plants
dropped something on the pants that i had on
forgot to sit out something for dinner
it was just a big mess of unnecessary stress

i got in the car and decided it was the best morning for the fish station
i need to reconnect and see all the blessings that are right in front of my face
and just as HE does
this song came on
i love it love it love it

it's a turn up the radio
open your sunroof (or roll down windows)
and soak in all that you are blessed with
thank HIM for those blessings
and cherish them

lost my keys in the great unknown
and call me please
cause I can't find my phone
this is the stuff
that drives me crazy
this is the stuff
that's getting to me lately
in the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
this is the stuff
that gets under my skin
but I've gotta trust
you know exactly what Your doing
might not be what I would choose
but this is the stuff You use

45 in a 35
Sirens and fines
While I'm running behind

so break me of impatience
conquer my frustrations
I’ve got a new appreciation

this is the stuff YOU use

Lyrics by: francesca battistelli

blessings,
jennifer

never too early

2011-06-09T21:16:00.000-05:00

i remember as a child getting so excited
when i was able to go to sanrio surprises for new paper and pens
or when a new lisa frank stationary design came out
i had stacks and stacks of stationary

i remember it taking so much time to find the perfect
piece of stationary to write my pen pal
to this day i love cards and stationary

i've always tried to do a good job of sending thank you notes
when people have had us over
when we receive a gift
i try to send out cards when someone is heavy on my heart
to others that may be sick or having something going on
my life is like others, in that it is filled with so much in so little time
i've neglected sending out notes lately
and i carry a shameless guilt and embarrassment around for that

after i had kennedy's 1st birthday i made sure we sent out notes to everyone that attended
and this party was no different
i feel weird asking my sister to write down who brought what
but i feel it is extremely important to teach
manners at a very early age
and more importantly i want to teach those
good southern belle manners (that i lacked most of) to kennedy

i came across this great site
http://www.sarahandabraham.com/
and two days later had the most adorable notecards for kennedy

she can't write yet but mark my words
as soon as she is able to do a little more than scribble or tear the paper
she will sign or start rambling her own thank you cards
never too early to teach a girl some good southern belle manners

**i could write a whole post on the "teenage" girls i see now days - Lord help me when mine is a teenager**

1 Timothy 4:12

12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

blessings,
jennifer

capture it

2011-06-06T08:41:00.000-05:00

i've been just dying to share these pictures
of who else but
babygirl K

we took a little road trip, the first of many,
to a gorgeous town, Sawenee
we got to hang out with the most fun
most adorable
energetic photographer
and old school mate i know
we got 3 fun filled hours of playing while she took pictures

if you, are like me, desiring to capture your family
or child as you see them everyday
(you know what i am talking about)
capturing their personality
their love
their attitudes
then you need to visit
http://www.cortneysmithphotography.blopgspot.com/
you won't be disappointed

so in the meantime
maybe you can help me decide which ones, probably all of them, that i need to purchase

here's the link and the password is kennedy
http://cortneysmith.zenfolio.com/kennedy

blessings,
jennifer

birthday recap

2011-06-02T21:12:00.000-05:00

i guess i need to just go ahead and get this out there
at the beginning
there will be lots of pictures
with sappy mommy of a precious TWO year old commentary

i have to document these things
which i have been doing a really bad job of
i do pull out the baby book
to document the things she does or "likes" for that month

but in blog world you can be as detailed or little as you want
with space and space and space to write
so onto the infamous TWO year birthday party

i went back and forth alot on what i wanted to do for k's birthday
-like immediately after her first birthday -
i'm nuts - i know this
i knew "cookies and milk" would be the perfect fit for this age
plus k gets my sweet tooth so i knew she would love it

so milk and cookies it was
now...do we go big and bright
or soft and girlie
nothing to that i get lost in other blogs
so where do i go for inspiration
where else...but blog world
world wide web is incredible
type in idea and you get the overload of different ideas and themes

i can't take much credit for the things her party consisted of
i took a little from this idea and a little from that idea and made MY idea
there...that sounds good, right?

i just knew my SIL was going to strangle me if i called
one more time with another idea for the cake and cupcakes
she was in the middle of packing and preparing to move
to another state and here i am calling about a birthday cake
i got to give her major props
she did awesome
this is the 4th cake i have seen her do now and she just amazes me
really...i don't think there isn't anything type of cake she can't master
typically...cute/pretty cakes are just that
cute and pretty with no taste
well hers has a great taste and fluffy...
and my kiddos just loved the icing
i think the exact words were it was "da bomb"
which in kid/teenage terms means GREAT JOB

late one evening as i was cutting and putting stuff together
i got all morbid and thought about if something happens to me
who would make sure that all her future birthdays were special
and that all the time to make things just right and personalized for her
so i popped up on the kitchen counter
and made T promise to me
that if something ever happens to me that he would do all he could to make
her birthdays special
that he would learn to make crafts
or enlist my sister to help him
granted, as i am making him promise me all this
it hits me

what hits me....
the fact that my baby is turning TWO
and you moms out there know what i mean
i just broke out into a sobbing mess
i mean...i was a boo hooing MESS
hey, it's cool...i can completely admit it and i'm proud to do so

my poor T
he just stood there like "seriously, you are breaking down NOW"
he then encouraged me to go in her room and give some kisses
to which i replied, in between the snot sniffles,
"i can't get it together and i will wake her"
so i stood over her crib...trying to quietly sob as i watched this precious
white headed. blue eye girl of mine rest in dreamland
have you ever tried to sob quietly?
i seriously thought the longer i sat there and just watched her breathe
i was going to lose it
so out i went and tried to regain composer

now back to birthday
i tried to delegate this time
which if you know me...that really isn't a word in my vocabulary
i've mentioned before i have this desire to do it all and my ego likes to prove i can
this year...my ego was tired
i actually let my sister bake some of the cookies
i delegated t with some items
i let someone else make the invites - which by the way are incredible if i say so myself
and let my SIL do the cake/cupcakes
this saved me so much time and lots of sanity

all in all i think the party was a huge success
kennedy slept until about 15 minutes before people arrived
which was great but at the same time freaked her out
that she woke up and then there was a house full of people
some of her friends came that she is comfortable around
and by the end of the party she was wild and letting lose

so after cleaning a house spotless before everyone arrives
and watching icing smear on the floor
crumbs drop everywhere
milk spill
and toys galore everywhere
i just smiled thinking these are some of the best times of my life
my daughter is so happy
surrounded by people she loves
and people that love her dearly

and then i thought
we will be moving the party to the deck/patio next year
and as soon as i say that it will down pour
thankfully i have about 360 days to figure that out
and don't think birthday 3 hasn't already crossed my mind
until then....

as a friend told me the other day "she doesn't drive...she gets "drove around"...true diva in the making

many blessings,
jennifer

this moment

2011-05-27T23:33:00.000-05:00

it's too late on a friday night to be blogging
much less doing anything else
but with 3 cups of coffee in me
i have a little bit of energy lagging on to capture this moment

as i have put some finishing touches on k's 2nd birthday party
and i am able to sit down and look around
i am at such a place of peace and feeling so blessed

i'm tired and would love to be at least 2 hours into some good sleep
but i have her turning 2 only one time in her whole life
i don't get these moments back
i don't get to have a "redo" with her if i fail or don't like something
i have to make this moment, this day, this second count and mean something

i had lunch with a friend today and we were discussing people that
were very obviously passionate about love, family, faith, and tradition
i have passion for things but not like the passion i have for k
that's good and bad
i need to have a deep passion for helping others
making a difference
my faith

i sit here, this late at night, making sure little details of her party are just right
when really...she just wants to carry around a straw and a cup
because that is what she is passionate about at this moment
and then in 3 minutes she will be passionate about her doll and so on

my mind is tired and words are jumble
and i still sit in amazement that my little girl is 2
each day she is getting more and more independent but still so helpless at the same time
her vocabulary is going into something fierce
and provides me with the best laughter i could imagine
her hugs are getting tighter because she is still so strong and healthy
her kisses are sweeter than anything imaginable
her little hand that holds so tight to mine as we walk together
holds a little tighter grip
her little toes are destined to be painted pink
and that silk blonde hair is softer than any blanket i've ever owned

i miss my little baby and the sweet cry in the middle of the night
but i love my toddler, who each days amazes me with what she learns and sees
as i sit here, yes a little teary eyed, reminiscing about when i first brought her home
i can't help but be excited, too, for this great new phase that we get to experience together
i think it's going to be one fun adventureous journey together!

blessings,
jennifer
p.s - birthday party tomorrow....blog picture overload following!

copy cat

2011-05-25T21:09:00.000-05:00

i love when i plan to take a day off
and it actually happens as i have it all planned in my head

most of the time if i have to take a day off
it's because someone is sick or an event out of my control happened

so to be able to take this past friday off on k's 2nd birthday
was such a blessing and delight
we didnt' make huge plans
we didn't have a 3 ring circus in mind
just some mommy/daughter time

it was so nice to not have an alarm at 5am
but instead wake up to the sound of "mooooommmmmyyyyy"
coming down the hall
it was even better that it was at 7:15

there was no mad rush to eat breakfast
get dressed as fast as we can
load the car and hit the road for an hour commute

instead we, meaning I, enjoyed a cup of coffee while k ran around in her pajamas and played
then we just put on some shoes - while she was still in her jammies
and we took off for some sonic french toast sticks
it was a pleasant morning
so we ditched eating in the car and sat outside at the picnic table

it was her birthday and the kid wanted tater tots...
so she had some tater tots for breakfast
**don't judge me - she's our little girl**

the laid back day consisted of more playtime at home
a quick trip to uncle mick's house to pick up some items
some loving from nana (she also had balloons on my door the night before k)
a visit from my nena and cousin eli
whom by the way brought the most delious strawberry shortcake cupcake
sidewalk chalk
bubbles
spagetti dinner
a warm bath
singing
nightime reading
and lots of hugs and kisses

it may not have been a fancy day for her 2nd birthday
but it was just what we needed
being with her all day ALONE
i catch myself just watching her in "awe" of her mannerisms

for you out there with kids, as i am sure you are aware, it amazes me how much they watch you
it's hard to sometimes really define love
and to define love from a child's heart
and i think i have it

they may not understand what it means when those little lips speak "i love you"
but their actions speak so much more than those words ever will
as i watch my daughter ask for a ponytail
or as she tries to wrap her dolls hair in a bun as her mommy does
i think...that is love

as i catch her leaning against the wall with her little arms crossed
and realize that i am in the same position
i realize that is love

as i watch her get the fisher price vaccum while i vaccum up crumbs from her dinner
i realize that is love

what an ulitmate show of love...
a copy cat...
to mimic every action you do...
that is how i view k's love for me
i know she tells me "i wuv you" in the high pitch squeal she lets out
but when she wants a pony tail
or she squats down when i do
when she grabs a vacuum when i grab a vacuum
that just speaks straight to my heart

blessings and many more good days off,
jennifer

My heart

2011-05-20T20:09:00.001-05:00

***Click on the Video Please!***

Disclaimer of lots of pictures and a really emotional mommy!!! Enjoy!

Isn't she lovely
Isn't she wonderful
Isn't she precious
Less than one minute old
I never thought through love we'd be
Making one as lovely as she
But isn't she lovely made from love

Isn't she pretty
Truly the angel's best
Boy, I'm so happy
We have been heaven blessed
I can't believe what God has done
Through us he's given life to one
But isn't she lovely made from love

Isn't she lovely
Life and love are the same
Life is Kennedy
The meaning of her name
Jennifer, it could have not been done
Without you who conceived the one
That's so very lovely made from love

dearest kennedy,

there are no words that can describe the love and admiration that i have for you, my sweet girl

my life is complete with you in it

i could of never imagined the joy that a little blond hair blue eye girl could bring me

you are full of personality and independence and i can't imagine my life without you

i pray that you continue to have a healthy and blessed life that is full of laughter, smiles and love

you are my life...my heart and my joy

happy birthday baby girl! I love you!

blessings,

jennifer

this has gotta be the good life

2011-05-18T20:15:00.000-05:00

when i thought about all that i need to recap in this post
a song just happen to come on pandora *side note - i LOVE pandora*
one republic's this has gotta be the good life

so thinking of all the events that have taken place over the past few weeks
i thought all of these events just remind me how great this all is

so where did i last leave off?
we already discussed mom and t's birthday so the next big event was easter
holidays with kiddos are awesom
especially when they are toddlers
the excitement is just so overwhelming
we happen to win a silent auction at k's school right before easter
so that became her easter basket
it was FULL of books
but of course we had to get a few extra little things to put in there
*side note that was completely dad's idea*

i lucked out easter morning to get a family shot of us
surprisingly i didn't trip and fall as i set the timer and ran back
final product...everyone smiling and looking right at the camera

after easter service we headed to nana and poppy's for dinner
and the annual easter egg hunt
even the big kids get out there and get into it
probably because there is a "golden money" egg for everyone
i don't know about you
but when i was little there was ONE golden egg
and you got a big chocolate rabbit...
not money
guess we have to roll with the times

after a weekend of chocolate and easter dinner
i had to get on the ball and get those miles in hitting the pavement
i haven't blogged much about it
but i set out to run the country music half marathon with my sister this year
signed up and paid in january
and knew once i did that there was no turning back
no way was i going to throw $60.00 away

training consisted of some late night runs
sore muscles
tired mind, body and soul
dedication and self discipline
but in the end it was one of the most rewarding
things i have done for myself (other than the birth of kennedy)

i started to look forward to those late night runs
it was just me and the fresh night air
my thoughts and my time
no one was calling momma - no one needed something ironed or cleaned
no cell phone
no email
just me, the ipod, and the pavement

we completed the half in just about 2hours and a half
i was so excited about our time and the fact we ran the whole thing
with exception to the last two miles when i had to stop and stretch
because i just knew my calf was about to blow out of the back of my leg

in the end i can mark this off the bucket list
and sign up for more half marathons to run
AFTER these stupid shin splints settle down

the following weekend after the marathon was mother's day and my birthday
timing couldn't of been more perfect
a weekend of spoiling just for me
no doubt i have a great man to spoil me
to take care of me and love me the way i need to be loved

nothing beats the homemade gifts that kennedy makes
i do beleive that is the best part of mother's day
i don't pack them away in a box
but they are all proudly displayed in my closet
every time i'm in there i can look and i'm reminded
of how lucky i am to have such a precious little girl
to spend my time with

life is busy and hetic
it seems like spring and summer are just packed
with birthdays, holidays and events
hence why the post are so behind
but when i do get a rare 10 minutes to stop
sit and think about all that i have around me
i can't help but feel an overwhelming feeling
of such blessings and love

this is my idea of a good life

blessings,
jennifer

if you could pick 2...ok we'll say 3

2011-04-17T15:41:00.000-05:00

have you ever watched a FICTION
show or movie and thought to yourself
they would make a really cool friend?
i have
i look through magazines and think
"i wonder what they are like just hanging out at dinner or lounging"

so i have three people that if i could make them
a part of my circle of friends
i would
and how ironic that 2 of them are actual "Friends"

1. Jennifer Aniston
i mean come on...woman or man would love to have her as a friend
seriously if she is beside you as a friend you are getting the hook up
thinking of all the awesome clothes you could share
all the beauty tips you could learn
because let's face it...she's a hottie!
and mainly she seems so stinkin cool without even trying

2. Cortney Cox
Lord please allow me to look this great at 45
i can't help but think that she has to be as witty in person
as she was on Friends
granted it was a fiction show
but part of that character had to have some of her traits
even if not i will continue to just believe so

3. Julia Roberts
do i really need to explain this???
infectious laugh
seems so down to earth and real
pretty woman
stepmom
run away bride
best friend's wedding...
do i really need to continue?

so when i look through people magizine
or people.com
the thing that strikes me is this
these celebrities...even though they know they will be photographed
a million times while walking to their car, taking kids to school, grocery shopping
they look so real
no fancy clothes to take a dog for a walk
no inappropriate short shorts
chest pushed up to their necks
street walker high heels on at the grocery

i love my sumner co. town
but seriously some of these women
could learn from
less is always classier - that's my opinion and i'm sticking too it

two of the classiest bst friends a girl could need...
her sister and her momma

blessings,
jennifer

Housewife

2011-04-16T20:45:00.000-05:00

i know there is a great mix of
working mother and stay at home mothers
that take your precious time to read my ramblings
i haven't quite decided if i do this blog to remember things
as a journal
or for hopes that it will grow as some
of the other blogs i follow
i guess it doesn't really matter
other than i appreciate the ones that do read
and comment
i love comments...
good and bad

so i still consider myself a "semi" housewife
even though i work a fulltime job
i mean, come on
i am the one that cleans (no house cleaner at the B residence)
laundry, dinner, shopping, appointment reminders

granted it does mean that dinner is later once i get home
which usually consist of me walking through the door
dropping my bags on the bed
stopping to give a few hugs and kisses
and then onto the kitchen
put the apron over my neck
because let's face it...there isn't enough time to change
when you have kids that are STARVING
as if they haven't eaten in days

we eat
80% of time i am bribing and entertaining k to eat
everyone gets up to go their ways to do homework
play or chill
while i, still in my apron, starting putting away dishes

now please don't take this as complaining
or thinking..."man i'd have those kiddos in the dishwasher and cleaning up"
they do put their dishes up and will offer help
but i'll let you in on a secret
i have this desire to do it all

to be able to work fulltime
with an hour or more commute
volunteer work
church activities
all while keeping my house tidy
dinner on the table
birthday parties planned
dinners for family (when we have them)
in the strangest way
being able to do and accomplish this
allows me to feel like i'm a housewife
it's that Mrs. Cleaver feeling

i know the day will come when my job will
be just in my home and i will be completely happy with that
so until that day i couldn't be more
thankful for having the very best people i can
to watch over my child and give her the love and attention
that she needs and desires
you know who you are!!!

blessings,
jennifer

we all have them

2011-04-14T21:02:00.000-05:00

the month of april has been a busy one to say the least
the start of spring is the door way
to lots of birthday, holidays and fun celebrations
while it makes for extra money spent
more time taken to prepare for these times
i love it and look so forward to all of it

two of my favorite people have birthdays back to back
t and moma
we have always done a combined celebration
it's a great time of family parties and dinners
since it is my husband's birthday i usually try to invite everyone to my house
momma will have to come up with a new easter menu
because that is pretty much what we ate for the april birthdays

my sil made the most beautiful and delicious cakes i have had
i'll let the pictures below speak for themselves
anyone interested in her doing a cake for you
message me and i will get you in contact
she's incredible

thursday, april 7th was t's actual birthday
on my way home wednesday i made a pit stop at gigi's as a surprise
then after church on wed. we went to carraba's
my days of kids eat free are long over
these boys all devoured their food and dove in for the sweets
it was probably one of the most enjoyable dinners
we have had out in a while
not just the food but conversation
which can be hard with a toddler, teenager and tween
half of the time i don't hear majority of the conversation
and hear just "momma, momma, momma, momma"

so thankful for my wonderful husband
we aren't perfect
nor do we have a perfect marriage
and we can drive each other nuts
but he's my best friend
he's my rock when i'm anxious or scared
and lately my biggest cheerleader as i prepare for the marathon

as for my mother - that's a whole other post in itself
that i will be better fit near mother's day
happy birthday to you two
(i know i'm a little behind in this post)
i love you both more than words can express

blessings,
jennifer

your mission

2011-03-31T20:11:00.000-05:00

i had the awesome privledge to listen to a missionary from kenya last sunday
the message from him and the few words from him wife have stuck with me all week
my really short version of what the wife shared with us
is she had a desire to start a school and teach the children
the importance of education
granted - they are in a really proverty stricken area
in just a few years the school has grown from 2 students to 250

children eager to learn
isn't it amazing that i struggle to get a teenager and tween excited about education
yet thousands miles away children are so hungry to go to school
probably barefoot and starving
speaking of starving, sara the missionary's wife,
mentioned that they are able to feed quite a few of the students lunch
but they don't have enough to feed all of them
so they try to get them porridge, like oatmeal, for breakfast
to at least hold them over for a while

is your heart breaking yet?
or wondering what you can do to help the children in these countries?
mine is and has been
last night at church we got on the discsussion of your mission
God has given everyone a mission
whether you realize what it is and nuture it is up to you

today i was able to attend a Lenten Concert Series
at west end united methodist church
granted i am not methodist but i thought it would be neat to go
and they had a lady playing the harp
so it was a great break in the middle of the day
to go sit in the most beautiful church and hear this music
as i sat there listening to this talented woman play
i just studied the building
from what i googled the church was there in 1890
so you can just imagine the structure and beauty

as i stared up at the image Jesus on the stain glass
i couldn't help but wonder again about my mission
my biggest mission right now is to be a mom to kennedy
my fear is that i'm not giving that mission the amount of nuturing it needs
i have such desires for what i want my home to be
and i try so hard but i fall so short majority of the time
but you have to keep trying and give a little more each day

there are circumstances that i have been through in my "short" almost 30 years
that i feel the Lord allowed me to go through so that it may
be an encouragement to others
or to help others
or maybe to just share and let God do the rest

i'm just so apprehensive about sharing
so therefore i carry the weight of feeling as
if this is my mission - i'm obviously falling short?
i pray that God gives me the courage to use experiences that i have had along with my family
to give him honor and hopefully be able to encourage someone else

in the meantime
i will just continue on with my mission as a mom
one that i enjoy more than anything in this world

many blessings...in finding your mission,
jennifer

Some of my favorite things - Spring Edition

2011-03-24T11:26:00.001-05:00

if you are like me
the change of the season brings out new things
we, or at least i do, change out the wool winter skirts
to fun vibrant flowy ones
wool turtleneck sweaters (so sad to pack away because i adore turtlenecks)
are dry cleaned and put away
to be replaced with sleeveless tops and romantic blouses
boots are replaced with open toe shoes (better get that pedi girls)
i always move my "winter" perfume to the back
and bring forth my lighter scents for the warmer weather
(even though i'm very partial to Chanel Coco and Chanel Mademoiselle)

food even changes with the season
so long to chili and grilled cheese
hello grilled fish and chicken with fresh veggies
i know my activities are even changing with the seasons
especially now with a toddler
no more movies wrapped in a blanket
but instead outside until the sun is down
coming inside for just enough time to eat dinner
bathe and as k says
"nigh nigh"

i have a few things on my "favorite" list this spring
things i am on the hunt for

i have this desire to be in flowy knit cardigan
they are just so comfortable
just enough to keep you warm in a cool office
and you can take off on the walk to the car and go in your tank

anthropologie

reef flip flops
best flip flop i know of
i've had my others forever
and this year i will break down and get maybe 2 pair (please thomas!)

i have a hydragenda bush that i want to bloom so bad
i can't wait to put flesh flowers out on my table
and in the kitchen

this year i think it's all ferns
don't have alot of extra time for maintenance
i typically have ferns on the front porch
this year they may just be on the deck and back porch as well

and lastly
an archipeago candle (luna scent)
goodbye winter scent
hello lemongrass

so whatever you are in the mood for this spring
or however you change things over for this warmer weather
enjoy the newness of it
and break out of what you may typically do each spring and summer
mix it up!

Blessings,
Jennifer

Spring Fever

2011-03-17T20:23:00.000-05:00

i had to do a post on this bug i have caught
it's called spring fever
with the sun this past weekend
and the constant little voice saying
"momma outside"
you can't help but want the windows up
get your hands in some dirt
fire up the grill
and enjoy the smell of fresh cut onions (grass) and fertilizer

this weekend consisted of freshly painted toes
a little lotion to add some color to arms and legs (my sun worship days are OVER - spf 50 please)
even baby girl got a fresh pedi of brighter pink on her toes
bushes were trimmed
pots are ready for fresh soil and paint

i'm flipping through Martha Stewart and Ballard Designs
trying to find the oasis outdoor look i want to incorporate
we have a huge patio poured after we built our house
and i hate to admit that i have not taken
advantage of all that it is capable of as i should have
this will be conquered this year

i'm also itching to get my garden tilled and planted
we didn't do one last year because kennedy was still small
and it was just more work than i had time for
this year is different
i can't wait to get her out there with me
and putting fresh veggies and fruit on her dinner plate
zach was always pretty excited when he was able to
go pick the new peppers or okra
so i know i will have some good helpers

i'm itching for some of these cuties to wear in the garden

and guess what...they have some in little sizes too
i can see us now picking tomatoes in our pink wellies

i'm sure i will get to the spring cleaning bug
but now i just want to be outside while it's still not too hot
blowing bubbles
watching kennedy pick flowers that are just starting to bloom
chase the butterflies that are starting to emerge
it's where my time slows down

the other night while i was running
i caught myself focusing on all the different smells
it sounds weird - i know
but with spring in the air you can get whiffs
of all different smells at night
whether it was someones fresh laundry
or fresh cut grass
fertilizer just sprinkled all over the ground in hopes that the yard
will just have bright green grass instead of weeds
as i made a corner on the homestretch
i could smell the earth - or was that the cows on the farm behind us/
either way each smell reminded me
of spring/summer as a child
hearing my mother hollar it was time to come home

walking barefoot down the street with only the street lamp
lighting the way
being flithy with dust and dirt all while having a huge bow in my hair
planning what the next day would bring with friends
i have so much excitment to share this with kennedy
to start young with her wanting to be outside
finding things fun to do in fresh air
instead of behind a tv or video game

whatever bug you get
to clean the inside
or outside
or just to be outside and not clean
enjoy it
soak it up
make it last
and make great memories!

Blessings,
Jennifer

looking forward while not rushing the present

2011-03-05T11:20:00.001-06:00

i love the toddler stage

i don't like the tantrums

but i love the innocence of a toddler

the curiosity of one

the smiles and laughter all from a funny face

or a silly saying

i enjoy the cuddles on the couch

and being her foot rest

or like a rock she is climbing all over

i have more bruises on my body

from my almost 2 year old little girl

and i love that (talk about battle wounds)

i feel like it was just the other day i was planning

her first birthday

i take that back

it feels like i just found out i was pregnant with her

and here we are embarking on her 2nd birthday

i always talk about slowing down

how i long for the days of swinging on the front porch

and time just creeps by

but lately i have found my thoughts

fast forwarding to when kennedy

is a teenager or preteen

or when she is a senior in high school

they are not sad thoughts

but thoughts of excitement for all that i wish so strongly for

i want to have such a closeness with her

i wish and pray everyday that when she grows

she will want only the best for herself

in school, in relationships, friendships, work

i want so desperately for her to want to have as much

respect for herself and demand it from others

i get excited thinking about shopping for dances and proms

for a girl's 16th birthday

for those mother/daughter talks that only we will understand

while i don't want them to come too fast

i'm also excited for them

i thought about the other day

what keeps a child on the right path?

how do you keep that closeness

and how do you keep them demanding the respect they deserve

or how do you keep them wanting only the best for themselves and not settling?

i have to thank the trials that we encounter with a 17 yr old

for making me really stop and think about what to do different

how to keep them on the path of excellence

i know there comes the time when you have to let go of your grip

and you sit patiently and pray they remember all the lessons

and morals and directions you have shown them

and then you also sit patiently while they make mistakes

and learn on their own

but i can't help but wonder how you can keep them from making some of those?

i know it's possible because i see it

i just haven't figured it out

so until the days of dress shopping

makeup

shoes and purses

i will enjoy the messes of cereals and chex mix across the coffee table

i will run around the house playing hide and seek

i will continue to lie on the floor

tickling and giggling until we are both panting like dogs

i will continue to remember my house is now the

playground for a toddler and there will be many messes

i will cherish the tantrums because i know during a "toddler" tantrum

she can't run in her room and slam the door

but run to me instead

and i will continue to sit back and watch

as she exemplifies things she sees and hears

and i will strive to be the best role model that i can be for my daughter

because i have one shot at this

and i refuse to mess it up!

blessings,

Jennifer

nana, nina and nenny

2011-03-02T21:02:00.000-06:00

we try and continue to try so hard
to teach Kennedy to say "kiki"
kiki aka is my sister
kiki was brought to life when our nephew hal was born

we had to find a name suitable for my sister
for our nephews since i was blessed with nenny
my wonderful little eli, to this day,
does not know what my real name is
and you know what?
i love that he doesn't know it

we came up with kiki and our nephew hal uses it so gracefully
so needless to say when i found out i was having
a daughter we were beyond thrilled
that my sister would be kennedy's kiki

unfortunately, no matter how many times i say KIKI
or have kennedy repeat KIKI
we always get nina

this isn't a word that kennedy is just saying
she knows she is calling my sister by nina
sometimes it's even nana
and at times nana is called nina

i assume one day we will find out what nina comes from
but until then i know nana and nina will answer to
anything that this little girl calls them

i'm so thankful to have a nina and nana in her life
my heart saddens but only for a moment when she runs
to them instead of me
because i know the love she carries
and the love they give
means more to me than they will ever know

i know in the middle of the night
or early in the morning
or when she is scared
or hurt
or sad
that the name momma rolls off her tongue
so i'm ok sharing my pride and joy
with some of the most fantastic women i know

here's to all you nanas and ninas out there

blessings,
jennifer

Wonders of Pandora

2011-02-26T20:39:00.000-06:00

i missed you blog
i miss having spare moments to clear my mind
i've had some spare moments but i felt so guilty
if i just sat in front of the computer for a few minutes

so i decided as i wait 45 minutes
for the chemicals to process and cover my gray
i would get in front of the computer

i am so behind...
so much has gone on in the pass few weeks
personal and professional
all great things
but just alot to keep me really busy
and running wretched

even as i sit here for a few minutes my mind is so scattered
and my thoughts will not funnel together
to make sense to me
therefore, i know they must not make any sense to
the wonderful person who reads this

have you heard of "pandora"?
i love it
it helps get me through days where i want to pull my hair out
it helps me daydream
i love it and if it went away i would be devastated
it is the best 99 cents i spend

the other day a song came on that i haven't heard in forever
and did it strike a cord
i love it
i think any woman feels this way
i think every woman wants to feel this way
i think it's inspiring and encouraging to all of us out there
who may feel like we have on one too many hats on a particular day

i love my role in my life right now
does it stress me and put me to the edge at times
yes
but i love it

a few years ago i was skeptical of my role
parts of me felt cheated and as though i missed out on some things
and as i have had to opportunity to speak to others
of some of those decisions and choices
i have continue to show myself
what a great job and role we have as
a mom
a wife
a career woman
a sister
a daughter
a friend
a house cleaner
a seamstress
a chef
a playmate
a maintenance woman
and all the other roles you may play during one 24 hour time frame

it's hard!
and there are days it just down right sucks! (sorry mom but i really had to make a point here)
but it's such a privilege
so here is what my little ego does
instead of stomping around
slamming pots and pans
complaining of i do this and i do that
i internally think
"LOOK AT ALL I CAN DO AND JUST DID"

i know it sounds so self centered and egoistical
but try it
it will change your perspective on your role
don't get me wrong...i have my pity party days
but then i have to stop and reflect on all that is right
and stop focusing on what is wrong or didn't get done

so as this song came through pandora
i thought
i could blog about Gavin's amazing 1st birthday (which i still will)
or about the craziness of worklife right now
or i could discuss my thoughts still on raising children and step children (which that will come too)
but instead i will just put some
of these lyrics out there
and hope that you find your
inner super woman (sorry men)
and know that you ROCK

"Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don't
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won't
Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be
And I know my creator didn't make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; I'm lovin' what I see
Am I less of a lady if I don't wear pantyhose?
My mama said a lady ain't what she wears but, what she knows
But, I've drawn a conclusion, it's all an illusion, confusion's the name of the
game
A misconception, a vast deception
Something's gotta change
Don't be offended this is all my opinion
ain't nothing that I'm sayin law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was sent here to share with
y'all
So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Clear your mind, now's the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
'Cuz everything's gonna be all right"

blessings,
Jennifer

Lovely Day

2011-02-14T21:03:00.000-06:00

unfortunately i'm too busy to actually sit
to write all that i am thinking right now
as i sit for a second on this valentine's evening
we just put a freshly bathed little girl to bed
and it's so quiet except for the nails of a basset across the floor

i sat here tonight, with mickey mouse clubouse
as my dinner "mood" music
thinking a few years ago i would of
demanded a nice dinner in town
i would have already dropped hints about a valentine
gift i would like to receive
i would of come home that night thinking
"why did I just blow all that money on a dinner"

so as i cooked our meal tonight...had a cake baked last night

and watched as T presented Kennedy with her valentines treats

i couldn't of been more content than where i am

yes, her daddy is putting on fingernail stickers that he bought her

i couldn't imagine this day or evening being anything different

than with some of my favorite people
kids bring on added stress and pressure

but they also make silly holidays, like valentine's day, so much more special

Look at that face expression...so excited!

hope you are loving the place you are at right now

if your not, i urge you to find that place of contentment!

Blessings,

Jennifer

p.s. - Valentine's Day with a daddy and his daughter is obviously like a birthday or Christmas! So sweet!

Southern Comfort

2011-02-05T20:48:00.000-06:00

that title gotcha didn't it?
no worries
you won't find me anywhere with a bottle somewhere
even though there are days where i could! (kidding mother)

i'm a tennesse, southern gal
and when i get to drive about 3o minutes south
of my town
i'm in the comfort of the walls i grew up in
i'm in the comfort of my mom and dad

i give them a hard time with silliness
and make fun of things that they say or do
but i couldn't love two more people more than i do them
(different love than K or T)

i really didn't like them majority of the time
in high school - i didn't have that "friendship"
of closeness with them
that was my fault - not theirs
they demanded respect
good decisions
rightfully moral choices
and as a teenager who wants all of that!

i'm so thankful i had the privilege
yes, i call that a privilege in today's time
that i have those kind of parents
granted - i still thought i knew it all
and knew better than them and made some really DUMB choices
but in my mind and in my heart i knew better because i had been taught

i worry at times about how things will be
when kennedy becomes a teenager
even though it wasn't that long ago when i was a mere
teenager cruisn nashville
or walking the malls
things seem much different
kids are much bolder and not bold in a manner
that i want kennedy to be

when i start to worry and stress
about times that haven't even arrived yet
i just pray and remember that it's all in God's hands
and i pray that God will continue to show
T and I how to properly raise a good Christian girl

as i watched k sit in my mom's kitchen sink today
my mind went back to when my
legs would hang off the edge of the counter
while she washed my hair in the sink
i believe she did this up until my "preteen" years
who knows why she was still doing this when i was that old

will kennedy always remember when i washed her hair
or when i sat at night and put sponge rollers in her hair
(yes, that day will come for the pink sponge rollers)
will she still feel that comfort of coming home when she is older?

i feel so blessed to have a mom and dad that are so close
are there times i wish they were in the same town - yes
but i can't imagine not going home
going home to my southern comfort

blessings,
jennifer

the call

2011-02-04T06:11:00.000-06:00

so i am typically the one getting all choked up
on stories i read in regards to children
i was always devasted at stories i read
or heard while i was trying to get pregnant

now having a beautiful healthy daughter
these stories crush me even more
i can't imagine some of the pain and turmoil that mothes go through
my heart breaks for them
my prayers are constant throughout the day for them
my mind is consumed of what they must be going through

A has a close friend whose sister just had a baby
he actually works for his friend's sister at a car wash
she just had a little girl 2 1/2 weeks ago
while i am not close to this family
and have only had a handful of encounters
my prayers and thoughts are consumed for this family
the little girl was rushed to the ER last night
with what they thought may be constipation

only to find out it was meningitis
i know God is still in a business to work miracles and heal
so i ask all my blog family to shoot up a special prayer for this family please

it's amazing what circumstances can do for your mind and spirit
T called me and the first words out of his mouth were
"i'm an emotional wreck"
i thought to myself what in the world happened
his thoughts and prayers are consumed for this family too
he said all he wanted to do was
grab a hold of K and I and not let go

he said tonight to be prepared that he will hug
and hold K and I all night
that's another reason, for the 14 days of love,
exactly why i love him
i don't get my feelings hurt when
kennedy is put before me
when what i say may not be heard because he is so focused
on our daughter
that when i want a little adult convo - he's having tea
it takes a real man to wear pink
and a real man to play tea

i love how he has on an earing and necklace while pouring asprin!

thanks T for the call just to let me know i will be loved on tonight!

Blessings,

jennifer

Poor Pitiful Me

2011-02-02T20:59:00.000-06:00

we all have those days or moments
where we just need to raise our voices just higher than normal
shed a tear or two to show we are tired in every physical capability a woman can be tired
then we wipe the tears
get our composer
stand up straight and push forward

i had all intentions of starting a 14 days of the little things i love about T
you know, all the things that i gripe about
but if he were gone i would miss terribly
instead i had a breakdown
a pure selfish, poor, pitiful me breakdown

last about 10 minutes
held K and cried all while browning the sausage
that i was trying to hurry and cook for dinner

i snapped at T
spilled my poor me act
and continued to cook

i wiped my tears
grabbed a tighter hold on K
and off we went to say "i'm sorry for my breakdown"

then the night was great with exception to T's tooth ache
that is another post on why men continue to put off the doctor
or procedure they need and chose to be in pain

i started another pitiful me this morning
as i changed a diaper and then proceeded to put K
straight in the car to drop her off at nana's
i have to find a way to stop the "rush" cycle
and create more quality time
i try to make the most fun while we are in the car together
but a toddler is only so happy at 6:45am stuck in a car seat
we get creative though and made the most of our ride to nana's
with laughter, dancing and singing

so on with my original thought for February
14 days of the little things i love
T is a man's man
or i like to think he is
he is well kept
but not so well kept that it's borderline weird
he's a good dresser
but not so over the top that he looks as if he is trying too hard

i know i should be thrilled that T likes to put the dishes in the dishwasher
well i shouldn't say like - but he does it
he doesn't do it when i ask - because majority of the time i don't have to ask
i will load and then i come around the corner
to find him rearranging what i just put in the dishwasher

he didn't always do this
until recently
and i admit it drives me nuts
i don't tell him how to wash his car
or shave his goatee
i don't tell him how to golf or clean his clubs
just like he wouldn't want me cleaning the inside of his car
of what i consider junk
he needs to step away from the kitchen and the dishwasher **wink**

it's one of those little things that drives me nuts
but i would truly miss
and that little thing that when i step back
to think about, especially as i type this out,
i just smile and laugh

i'm sure you reading this
have those things that get so under your skin
but make you smile and laugh inside

many blessings,
go hug and tell your significant other you love them and appreciate the things they do that drive you nuts

Jennifer

Taking Leaps

2011-01-22T17:35:00.000-06:00

remember when you were little
and you first learned how to jump
or the excitement of taking big leaps or jumps?
jump off the bed
jumping across the creek
a water puddle in the road after it rained

those leaps were fun and exciting
made us laugh
and gave a our sweet faces something to smile about

as i, we, all get older
i realize that taking leaps are much harder to do
sometimes they bring more stress and anxiety than joy
we become creatures of habit
which creates in us a level of comfort and security that we don't
really like to move away from

as much as i say that change doesn't bother me
so change really scares the dickens out of me
yea, change paint on a wall
change my hair color
change cars

but leaps that require faith - more faith that unfortunately i have
i should have more because
i have been brought through some struggles
and have been blessed beyond what i deserve

i'm taking a leap this year with the half marathon
while it may be something small to most
it really stresses me out
the time commitment
am i really able to do this and prepare myself for it

i always kid around that i would love
to do parties and take pictures
am i good at it? no
but do i get a sense of joy from it? absolutely
i took a leap and offered to help a friend
with her son's 1st birthday
i immediately thought "what did i just do"
but it's a leap
i have to test my limits and my strengths

just as a child has to fall off a bike when learning
as an adult to still have to fall off the bike
to learn how to ride without training wheels
you can't be scared to try
you just might succeed

kennedy was invited to a birthday party this weekend
while i was hesitant about going
because i know absolutely no one
and it's not like kennedy is at an age
to go around and introduce me
i have to get out of my comfort
i talk about teaching kennedy to be independent
strong, kind, friendly, loyal
you have to teach by actions
and not just words

i want to be able to leap
into new things with the same excitement
a child has
there may be no one other than God
to catch me if I make a terrible
tumble...but that isn't to bad is it?

what leap are you taking?
are you even challenging yourself to take one this year?

blessings,
jennifer

Self Help

2011-01-22T06:30:00.001-06:00

i think i need more than
self help at times
i'm not a big fan of the so called
"self help" books that alot of...
what shall i call them....celebrities,
may promote
but i started thinking about the magizines i read
the books i chose to read
they are all some form of "self help"

either telling you what to wear for your body type
what to eat for more energy and weight loss
how to be a happier woman/person
how to get your kid to not have tantrums (nothing works)
how to make potty training easier
ect. ect. ect.

T always gives me a hard time about my pile
of magizines beside the bed
as soon as i start hinting about his collection of hats, golf clubs, ect.
piling up in the room - on the t.v. - beside the dress

so i looked down tonight at my current reading material

the only twomissing, because it's on the edge of the tub and on my desk, is my parenting magizine
and my Bible
funny that one magizine is even titled "self"

i have such a strong conviction to get so many
areas of my life in a much better place and order than they are in
i want to be the greatest mom i am capable of being
i want to be the greatest wife i am capable of being
the best daughter, sister, and friend that i can possibly be
i don't want to be good
i want to be the absolute best i can

i know if i open myself up
to changes of habits and traits
that i can be at my absolute best
and know that i can continue to grow
and be the woman i need to be
for everyone in my life
and to lead by example and not just words

here's to growing!

Blessings,
Jennifer

Farmgirl

2011-01-18T10:10:00.000-06:00

do i need to even explain
my love and obsession for blogs

well i found one OF COURSE
through another blog and i'm in love
she's such a doll and her artistic ability is amazing
http://www.farmgirlpaints.blogspot.com/
i'm just dying to send her a picture of the home
i grew up in to paint - that way i will have forever to cherish

so she, unlike myself, wanted to learn more about photographer and took action
i talk about taking a photography class...she does it
she has a "strive" challenge going
i always see where other bloggers have topics that you can link up your page
but never have i partaken
Until now
each week, after she learns something new
she will tell us, bloggers, about it and ask that we link a picture up
that somehow captures it
this week was about shutter speed

if you don't know my husband is a golfer
not just a golfer on the weekends as a hobby
but his career
his passion
his obsession
his love
it's what is on every tv when i turn them on (not foodnetwork)
so what better to send a picture
of motion and shutter speed
than my sweetie in the
middle of a swing

check out that face - that ball is about to get crushed!
so go check out Becky
i promise you will enjoy

happy tuesday and many blessings,
Jennifer

Growing

2011-01-13T20:58:00.000-06:00

i will have to take more time this weekend to
write and give all the feelings i have about
my oldest step son turning 17
but until then i wish him a year
of pure joy
happiness
patience
growth
blessings
and
no more speeding tickets!
happy birthday austin - enjoy your year!

Back When

2011-01-12T21:16:00.000-06:00

i attended a funeral today of a lady that in the 3 short years
that i was able to know her
had such an influence
it's not that i had alot of long conversations with her
or that we spent time sitting around talking
but just by her actions, words, and witness

married to the same man for 65 years
9 children and 2 dozen grandkids and great grand children
as i watched and listen to her life celebration
and her children mourning the loss of their mother
i sat there thinking about how i put so much on the struggle
of things that can't happen - or i can't do this/that
i can't afford this or that
the "i'd love to have a house full of children but we just couldn't"

i have spent most of the day thinking about days way before my time
back when time was spent on a front porch
doors weren't locked
life was simple and time was slow

my time now is spent planning weeks in advance
piling as much in as few hours as possible
thomas told me today as i was debating mopping floors or resting
"jen, you have the rest of the day and night - just stop and rest"
i caught myself throughout the remainder of the day saying
"i have the rest of the day/night - this can wait"

i know i have shared with some that i would love to have a house full
of little kiddos running around
yes- stressful as they grow up and get a mind of their own
but those sweet innocent years and laughter than fill your home
i always say "i would have a house full if i could afford"
tonight i thought...
"they had nine children back when people didn't have alot
we think money is tight now - think of a stay at home mom and a farmer"
we have a 2 income family with a good benefits

do we have things backwards or what?
i'm not professing that i am now on a mission
to deliver a liter of kiddos
but babies and children are no more expensive today
as they were 30/40 years ago

yes, things are more costly
yes, we think we need more things to feed, dress, entertain our kids
when really, what 9 month old is going to remember if you gave them
dr. brown's bottles or walmart brand
forget bottles - mom's are a great food supply source = FREE

tim mcgraw has a song titled "back when"
there is a line in the song that says
"we got too complicated - it's all over rated"
i couldn't agree more
while i love the technology of my blackberry - debit cards - internet - microwave
i think we could all benefit from simplified lives

i think that is the joy of having a little one around
the simplest thing can amuse them
you stubbing your toe is the funniest thing they have ever seen
you acting like an idiot to the hot dog song on mickey mouse
brings the brightest smile to their face
the brightness of snow on the ground is something
new and fresh to learn
children (while little) are simple

i am reminded, even as kids grow, they still enjoy simple
zach, my youngest step son, was so excited a few weeks ago
when t took the time for him and zach to go lay pennies and quarters on a rail road track
he listened all night for that train to roll through
talked about when it would come by and which direction it would be going
i told thomas, "he may be becoming a "tween" but there is still
that small simple child in him

don't you want your simple inner child to come out more often?
i do
here is to remembering to be simple and slow down
to ola - for showing me what love is suppose to look like
to my kiddos big and small - for inspiring me to make things simple

guess there is another resolution
can you continue to make them after 1.1.2011?

oh and if i do happen to get pregnant again - not saying i will -
i make a promise to myself to be thankfull
and know it's all in a bigger plan than mine

many blessings,
jennifer

Helpless

2011-01-07T14:46:00.000-06:00

adjective
unable to defend oneself or to act without help
synonyoms: defenseless, exposed, vulnerable

what a downer!
i completely feel this way right now
and i have to write it out so it no longer consumes my thoughts

it's so hard to sit back and see self destruction
and feel like you can not do anything
as parents you try to instill all of your life knowledge in your children
you try to teach them based upon the mistakes
you made
you try to not bore them with lectures of all the facts
you try so hard
you pray hard
and at the end of the day you wish with all your might that it sticks with them

as i continue to be a step parent to 2 wonderful boys
one turning 17 in just a few days
i can't help but feel remorse for all that i put my parents through
i was raised in a christian enviroment
with a mother that spent majority of time on her knees praying for us kids
a father that you didn't think about back talking or questioning

with that being said you would think i had all the upbrining of living the straight and narrow
i wish i would have
but i have to now take those unhealthy decisions
to use and educate

i guess this all just is God's way of trying my desire
of letting go and letting God
nothing is helpless with Him
even when i sit and feel like i can't do anything
i know who has the ability to do MARVELOUS things
who can take a bad situation and make it wonderful

if you read this and have teenagers
i know you agree with me that your parents were right
parenting is hard
there are times is just out right stinks
it's exhausting
mind consuming
at times inconvient
but kids of gifts from God
they are blessings
and this is job that HE gave us to endure and accomplish

"And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope"

Romans 5:3-4

blessings from my crazy home to yours,
jennifer

Slap in the Face

2011-01-05T19:03:00.000-06:00

do you have those moments when
things just seem to keep aligning
and it's like someone/something is trying to tell you something?

i keep coming across quotes, sayings, others writings
that are like a slap in the face
i wrote about being capable the other day
but capable of what?
i mentioned that my desire is to let go and let God
there are things that i want to do this year
that will mold my life for the better
that will mold my family for the better

"life isn't about finding yourself
but creating yourself"

there are things i don't like in my life right now
i can change those
i can't change by myself but with God
those situations and things can change

a friend of mine from high school
has on her facebook page
a saying i thought was cute and made me smile
when i first read it
but it always seems to enter back in my thought
and i think of it alot

"i want to be the woman that when my feet hit the floor
in the morning, the devil says,
"Oh crap she's up!"

isn't that great?
i'm not that woman
but i desire to be

you know i lose myself in other blogs
lately it's like my thoughts are so scrambled and nothing i seem to
type out makes any sense
but then i come across sayings or quotes
and i hear myself say
"EXACTLY"
that is what i have been trying to say for
the last 45 minutes that i type

so i leave you with this today

Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death.

Grab life by the mane.
Set God-sized goals. Pursue God-ordained passions.
Go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention.
Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God.

Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution.
Stop repeating the past and start creating the future.
Stop playing it safe and start taking risks.

Expand your horizons. Accumulate experiences.
Consider the lilies. Enjoy the journey.

Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can.
Live like today is the first day and last day of your life.
Don't let what's wrong with you keep you from worshipping what's right with God.
Burn sinful bridges. Blaze a new trail.
Criticize by creating. Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks.
Don't try to be who you're not. Be yourself. Laugh at yourself.
Quit holding out. Quit holding back. Quit running away.

Chase the lion." - Mark Batterson

don't let the lion chase you!

my old rocking horse that my mom and sister redid for kennedy

many blessings,
Jennifer

My 2010 Reflection

2011-01-01T09:48:00.001-06:00

each morning as I lay all snug in my bed, tucked warm and cozy,
my sweet man gives me a squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before he leaves for work
i grumble something about being being careful and have a fantastic day
for some reason though when I woke up this morning...
God has given me so many special gifts
He does that sometimes
He opens our eyes to how blessed we are
the realization seeps in and joy fills our hearts
today the presence of those blessings was present
my coffee tasted better,
the dirty dishes in the sink made me thankful for dishes to eat off of...
counting my blessings seemed to just be right there in the forefront of my mind

as i reflected yesterday on the year of the past so many things ran through my mind
things that tested our patience
things that made us weep tears of pure joy and want to stay in the that
exact moment forever
things that riped my heart apart as i tried to stand strong with a solid smile upon my face
i survived it all and i feel stronger because of it
i know that sounds so cliche but it's so true

the challenges that i faced this in 2010 weren't any more
difficult or harder than anyone else had to face
in all reality..mine were probably pretty easy compared to most people in the world today

yesterday evening as i was preparing to go out for new years
i just broke down
i'm tired!
but who isn't?
some days you just want it easy
you want the perfect happy family with kids that want to be with you 24/7
sitting around the dinner table actually talking about your day
you want everything in your past to be pleasant so it doesn't
sneak in and haunt you when you are feeling down

there are times i feel so completely helpless to situations
and majority of the time i let those feelings consume my thoughts
**that's a resolution that i have for 2011-unpleasant, unGodly thoughts will not consume my mind**
i realized last night - which why it didn't click earlier in life as many times as i heard it
i can't change people and who they are or what they do
having a teenage step son has really taught me so much this year
my mother use to say alot "put it in God's hands and let it go"
i never really grasped that until i had a teenager in my household

i have really had alot of lessons that have shown me that i am
not the main one in control of my life or situations
granted, i can make situations that effect my life - good or bad
but let's face it...bad things happen
i never shared this within a post this year
but i was reminded once again there are so many things i can't control
i lost another baby last year
i now have 2 little angels in heaven that i know i will see one day
the second time isn't any easier than the first
i think i was able to keep composer better the second time or maybe it was
that i had so much i used to distract me
maybe it was because i still was able to come home to a beautiful baby girl
but in those quiet moments when i am awake before everyone else
or driving home and it's still and quiet - those two angels consume my thoughts
i don't know why it happens other than to teach me and allow me to grow

i found this last writing on another blog and i had to post it
i read it last night before i left the house and it gave me such peace
i was struggling earlier in the day and just feeling helpless
anxiety of wanting to just make all things just right consumed me (there's that word again)

"it's taken me awhile to grasp it all, but I have finally arrived at the grown-up place of life is what you make it and there are lots of things in life we go through that aren't comfortable or ideal, but they could be so incredibly worse, and a simple life of comfort does nothing to change us, mold us, make us into better, stronger more beautiful versions of ourselves...I have been reminded so much these past couple weeks of just how wonderfully blessed we are and the older I get, the more I embrace change as opportunity to learn just what I am capable of.Perhaps I had been planted for too long and this little bit of discomfort will challenge me, to push myself more toward new chapters in the story of our life they will be good chapters."

i am capable
i have faced alot that hasn't brought me down
i'm still standing and standing a little straighter and stronger
i am capable of everything that i am faced with
i am capable of pushing myself to be better
i am capable of making my life what i want it to be
i am the one that is capable to find the joy or find the negative in it

here's to a blessed year full of all that we are capable of and more

many blessings,

Jennifer

p.s. - do you like the music playing during the blog or not?

Christmastime

2010-12-31T13:29:00.000-06:00

one thing i have realized during this christmas is that i will, for as long as i have to work make sure that i continue to take alot of time off at the holidays
most people want the summer vacation days - which i do to
but there is something about being
cozy in a warm house and staying in your pjs all day

waking up to the sound of kennedy's laughter and calling out "mama"
in the most determined little voice
and knowing that we can enjoy breakfast without rushing to get out the
door was probably one of the best christmas gifts i could have received
don't get me wrong
i really like all of the monetary gifts that i received
but that gift of time with my family was the most precious

i was really excited about christmas this year
after seeing kennedy's reaction to one of my nephews
receiving a present the prior week
i just knew she would round the corner and see her kitchen and table
and just squeal and be estatic
wrong!

right before the holidays some form of bashfulness came across her
if she felt like people were drawing attention to her or talking about her
she would look down and just mess with her fingers/fingernails
it is absolutely hilarious and adorable at the same time
i have no idea where she gets taht from or if it's just a toddler stage

the boys were great helping us set up christmas eve
before Zach went to bed he came and told me to make sure that
he was up before we got kennedy up
i know they were excited to see how she would react - even at 12 and 17
they act like they don't care - but every now and then little things
will slip and i know she brings them the
same joy and excitement she brings to everyone else

fast forward to christmas morning - everyone is ready to see how she reacts and this is what we get....

she goes and hides behind a basket looking down!
after i carry her to the kitchen it didn't take long for her to jump right in
all i will say is that she LOVES to tear into some packages...hers and everyone elses

we were all so blessed this year beyound our means
a week before christmas as i sat wrapping up presents it really hit me
and convicted me about gifts for thomas and myself
here's my rational
we both work - we both purchase things for ourselves throughout the year
we celebrate valentines with a gift or dinner
we celebrate our anniversary - better be a dinner or something
we celebrate brithdays
kiddos don't get all those chances to get what their hearts want
they go through the motions of asking for things at the store and hoping to hear
their parents say yes
so i told thomas next year - it's all kiddos
we don't need anything - we can go get whatever we want when we want
we agreed on stocking stuffers for each other - which is great because
i get as excited about a stocking as anything else
(ask me this time next year if i gave him a list) **wink***

i beleive the boys were truly pleased with their christmas
i'm hoping austin's present opens up a new world of a hobby
a hobby that is cheaper than cars and car parts and SAFER
photography
i love more than anything taking pictures and capturing "non pose"moments
i like them to tell a picture
i hope we will be able to share that same joy in taking pictures
maybe this will give me some time to take him out to find some cool places
to capture some shots
trying to pull out that creative - imagination

in efforts to not bore you any longer with this post
***if you are still reading...bless you***
i will make a part II for christmas at the parent's home
that was an eventful night in itself
let's just say
missing family members - ice - 4 rowdy kids - and a 8 people trying to get back home safely in one car

many blessings,
Jennifer

Close to You

2010-12-26T21:07:00.001-06:00

Why do birds

Suddenly appear?

Everytime you are near

Just like me

They long to be

Close to you

Why do stars

Fall down from the sky?

Everytime you walk by

Just like me

They long to be

Close to you

On the day that you were born

The angels got together and decided

To create a dream come true

So they sprinkled moondust in your hair

Of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue

That is why all the girls in town

Follow you all around

Just like me

They long to be

Close to you

kennedy got this little puppet from nana for Christmas. it's a little bear that plays this song as you use it as a puppet...i haven't been able to make it through the first 5 words without crying YET! stupid puppet! just kidding.

i love it. Ii love seeing her precious face as she listens. my heart melts

i really haven't been able to get my thoughts around this holiday season yet

don't worry a post will come soon

i'm just overwhelmed with

so many emotions of blessings that have

been bestowed upon

our family

i hope each and every one of you

had a safe, blessed, wonderful holiday!

many Blessings,

Jen

In their shoes

2010-12-21T14:52:00.000-06:00

i had the most rewarding two days last week that i must share
i don't share to pat myself on the back
or to say what i am done
because in reality i don't do near enough or anything for that matter
but i do work for a great company that does alot
and i am fortunate enough to get to share in some of that
every once in a while
it couldn't of been at a better time to get
involved with these either
yes, we are all caught up in the hustle and bustle
no matter how many times we remind ourselves what the holidays are about
or how many times we promise not to stress over the perfect gift
or the amount we spend
it happens

first stop is salvation army
i don't know about you but when i would chose my angel
i would go and shop and really think about what i would buy and if this child
would like the gift or play with it
thought i shopped for them, it went to salvation army and delivered
i had this envision of what i thought that whole organization was like
lets say it was nothing like i imagined
it is much bigger than i ever imagined
i quickly realized it took alot of people and alot of volunteer hours to make the
salvation army such a huge success
as i watched some of the families come to retrieve their gifts
as i double checked bags to make sure everyone is accounted for
as i read the list of names and ages my heart was saddened and overjoyed
looking through the bags and seeing all the toys, bedding clothes and ect.
i couldn't help but think of the joy and excitement that these families would feel
on christmas morning
i also, quickly realized, that when i chose an angel to shop for
i don't need to have a mind set of let me just pick up a little something
for this child or elderly
but let me put the same effort and thought as if this were my own family
isn't that what christmas is about? giving? being "CHRIST" like?
i believe so

my second shop the next day was the second harvest food bank
OH MY GOODNESS
what an incredible operation
we all hear of the second harvest through the news each night
if you attend football games and in advertisements
i strongly encourage anyone to go and take a tour
by the end of the tour i guarantee you will be signing up to volunteer
80,000 square feet of storage space that is stocked floor to ceiling
aisles and aisles full of boxes of food
boxes still to be sorted and packed
and if they do not get food everyday to store for hungry families
this 80,000 square feet of space would be empty in 11 days
i was shocked
i was shocked that in a mere 11 days it could be emptied
and that there are still that many hungry families within
46 counties of tennessee
with the donation of my place of work
100,000 mouths will be fed
ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND - INCREDIBLE
and let me just state that they are not fed with the off brand - expired - stale food
we're talking better food than what i go to the grocery and buy

i have my pity parties when i think things are bad
and i was quickly reminded that i have so much to be thankful for
i have been blessed minute after minute beyond anything that i deserve
so if you are able to read this then you are blessed...
why?
you obviously have access to the internet
which means you probably have a computer or phone
which means you have means of electricity
which i would assume if you have electricity then you are not out in the cold...

i could continue but i do believe that you get my point
yes, this time of year is about giving but why just this time of year
i really want to encourage you and i'm speaking mainly to myself
to be of a giving nature all year long
if it's your time, your prayers, or monetary means
try to do something a little more than last year
i've seen first hand how it really makes such a huge difference to others

as always
many blessings,
Jennifer

Tired

2010-12-15T20:48:00.000-06:00

what a boring and non eye catching title
but as i sit here clearing off images from the camera
and thinking that I need to post about the occurrences of the past few days
my brain is getting tired - my "thinking" cap is almost to the "off mode"
i debate making a cup of coffee; but do i really want energy
to stay up for a few more hours?

my husband has been a trooper and prince for me the past 2 days
i guess it's pretty obvious all that needs to be accomplished within
the mere hours before, during and after my work schedule
he has really stepped in and helped out without really even asking
and i couldn't be more appreciative- i keep telling him
words can not express how much i appreciate all that you are doing
he is a good man

it's been really cold but that doesn't stop us from getting out
and enjoying some of the white stuff
i may not stay out as long as the kiddos but i will attempt
to put on all the gear, go out and walk around, maybe roll up a snowball
before i wave the white flag to the brutal wind on my face and go inside
there i will wait while kiddos play until they are numb
and have hot chocolate waiting on them

i must say i have always been a much bigger fan of cold weather than the hot
i think i have stated before...i can bundle up more clothing than i can remove
when it gets too hot for my comfort
nothing better than a good warm turtleneck and scarf
scarfs and boots are my thing for the winter of 2010
everytime i go out i seem to come back with another scarf
or a pair of boots...no worries...with the forecast we are getting
they will all gets lots of use

i planned a "cookies and milk" date for kennedy with our buddy sawyer
his mom, zoe, and i were belly buddies.
sawyer and kennedy are about 20 days apart, i think
i have come to love zoe like a sister and her family
she is so dear to me...calms me when i need calming
can give me a laugh when i need it the most
and listens when i just need an ear to vent
i'm so thankful God put her family in my life

our first "date" with the kiddos took alot of warming up on kennedy's part
not this time...she was excited that someone was here to play with
though, she got a little nerved if sawyer got close to the adorable tea set he brought her
but a quick diversion of attention and they were good to go

with that being said - this mom of a busy girl is off to prepare things for tomorrow
big day
because of the weather kennedy's Christmas party at school was moved to tomorrow
along with the volunteer project i signed up for a the Salvation Army
i will sit down eventually and just stare at the tree, have some spice tea
(thank you wonderful sister) and relax
until then stay warm
and many many many
Blessings,
Jennifer

too be a kid and not get cold

i thought this was so precious of kennedy looking at all the white fluffy stuff

i have no idea

"don't tell mom but this is her good lipstick!" (she she knows how to open tubes of lipgloss)

alot of this all during the play date

some of my favorite people

Pedi

2010-12-13T07:11:00.000-06:00

i walk in the bathroom sunday morning to find

this taking place

i ran to get camera in hopes that i wouldn't

interupt the "spa" treatment that was

about to take place...

mess, yes...but what do you do?

"did i miss any"

she is trying to get that foot up there

"time to clean up"

"now what can i find in daddy's drawer"

Blessings and many pedis in your future!
Jennifer

*

one more day

wednesday thought

new year beginning in february

cookies with nana

memories of christmas decor

generations

things missing

shackles

flour, sugar and sprinkles OH MY

reminded

push through...anyway

chivalry...rare to find

i'm here...

remembering

inspiration blog

vacation part duex

vacation part I

operation home

hustle bustle

all mine

they watch

Today's Modesty

take 2

not prepared

aniexty

july 4th recap

What I'm Grateful for Today...

creative juices

Wordless Wednesday

Summer Pictures

Mary or Martha

dreaded shopping trip**this one is for the ladies**

random weekend thoughts (last weekend)

i let it get the best of me

infantigo

blessings disguised as burdens

never too early

capture it

birthday recap

this moment

copy cat

My heart

this has gotta be the good life

if you could pick 2...ok we'll say 3

Housewife

we all have them

your mission

Some of my favorite things - Spring Edition

Spring Fever

looking forward while not rushing the present

nana, nina and nenny

Wonders of Pandora

Lovely Day

Southern Comfort

the call

Poor Pitiful Me

Taking Leaps

Self Help

Farmgirl

Growing

Back When

Helpless

Slap in the Face

My 2010 Reflection

Christmastime

Close to You

In their shoes

Tired

Pedi

dreaded shopping tripthis one is for the ladies